Drown
by Elliniest
Summary: Raven was good at lying, especially if she was lying to herself. Cheating? She wasn't sure if she could do both. Not when Beast Boy wanted more from her. Not when her feelings for Robin wouldn't drown themselves. ROBRAE
1. Chapter 1: Eyes

**Author Note:** Thank you for being here friend. Something that I had on tumblr that I am tweaking and posting here. Hope you enjoy. It's not a one shot.

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Blue

Azure

Azul

This were just a few words for blue. However none of them could describe, _his_ blue. They were deep rich shades, flicks of green moss, and strips of gold. Maybe it was her poetic nature, her emotions going awry but she could speak volumes to try to describe _his_ blue, but never quite get it right.

Raven eyes glanced at Robin's direction as he scanned his newspaper. Maybe it was their bond, their friendship, or their early morning talks but somehow Robin became comfortable. The mask he always used to hide away from them, hide away the secrets he had thrown away for the couple of hours they were alone.

At first it was odd, sort of eerie, unable to register just how _human_ Robin looked. The mask always brought this sense of mystery, a barrier between him and people. It was easy to forget just how human Robin was when his acrobatics and martial arts were always up to par with everyone's super powers. However _human_ brought a different feeling then _leader_. The feeling of respect and admiration was not associated with the word _human_. That word brought another connotation, something more reachable.

And Raven hated it.

"Maybe you should put it back on." Raven said not daring to look up from her book.

Robin stopped in mid flip of his newspaper. Even without Raven looking at him, she knew he was looking at her. His _eyes_ were on her. They were analyzing, pulling at every muscle fiber. She hated that even more.

"Does it disturb you?" Robin asked and she could feel a sense of panic.

"Yes." Raven said casually flipping a page of her book.

"Raven look at me."

"No."

"Rae."

Raven snapped her head in his direction and she wished she didn't. He was so darn close. She could smell irish spring soap, the slight musk that was richly _him._

"I thought it be okay." Robin lowered his eyes, rubbing his neck sheepishly. "The mask is kind of itchy in the morning and-"

Raven raised her hand to stop him, while rolling her eyes. Oh god what was she doing? Her words had sounded harsh, asking less to put on a mask and more to place a burlap sack over his head. Raven sighed, trying to figure out damage control.

"Your eyes are…" Raven tilted her head contemplating the best words to use. "Compelling."

Robin looked up and Raven bit her tongue. The rich golds taunted her with promises. The green moss made her envy his beauty. Yet it was the deep rich blues, an icy stare so _cold_ it ran _hot,_ that captivated her. There were the hues of blue that reminded her of a river. A river that ran so deep, so ferociously, it swallowed her, consuming her into its clear waters.

"It's my eyes that bother you?" Robin raised an eyebrow.

"Yes." Raven said with one shaky breath. She slightly shifted away, yet the tidal waves pulled her attention.

Robin looked away, unable to register the information. Raven held in her gasp, feeling air back into her lungs. It was silly, she felt like a fish on a hook.

Robin looked back, capturing her gaze. The violet rays, stared into ocean blues.

"I think your eyes are more compelling." Robin smiled.

Raven blinked unsure on what to say. Her eyes? They were nothing but gates to the underworld. They were an eerie violet, sleek, cold, and murky. Like a dirty oil spill seen from above. Nothing was appealing about them.

Raven rolled her eyes. "Yeah sure they are."

Robin leaned closer, his hand bracing the back of the couch. His hands casually touched her neck, his eyes following the small pathway to her shoulder. His thumb slightly dug into her collarbone as his fingers twirled her hair. The act seemed so innocent, something playful and sweet. Yet the way he seemed focus on the nape of her neck, made him seem _hungry_.

Robin hands moved to the base of her neck, leaving cool hot traces. Raven shivered, feeling something very dark glance over her body. She shrugged, trying to fight the swirl of emotions that reached the surface of her skin. She slightly lifted her head, staring into those blue eyes.

"They are." He locked his stare.

Raven closed her eyes not bearing to be swallowed again. The second she did, she felt the plush soft lips pressed against each eyelid. And there it was again, the tidal wave of emotion, the feeling of his humanity. The electricity hummed on her skin, begging to be touch, to be spread by the ocean blue. It reminded her just how precious he was, how very kind, too very kind. Yet whatever feeling was roaring in her chest was dangerous. The more she _felt_ the more power she released.

Raven opened her eyes staring back at the precious blues.

"Raven" He said in a low whisper.

It was pleading, edges dark with need.

Raven leaned forward, wishing to be drowned.

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 **Author Note:** This is going to be a roller coaster of drama. It just ended up that way. The next few chapters will be posted tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2: Poor Apologies

**Author Note:** For FYI, the first chapter was suppose to be a one shot for tumblr but some people asked me to make it into a series of chapters. So I had to haphazardly stringed a plot together, and it became this mess, lol. Anyways enjoy!

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Three weeks. That was almost a month, and not a word. Three weeks since Raven lost her wits and kissed Robin. It was clumsy, lunging forward catching his bottom lip in the process. The action felt more like a face fight then anything; bumping noses, teeth banging together and misplaced lip position. She didn't know what to expect, but it wasn't _that._

The most awkward thing was his reaction. Robin pulled away quickly, removing all contact. His expression she couldn't really read, eyes wide, emotions complex. He opened his mouth to speak, like an entrance to a cave. But no words came out, and he quickly closed his mouth. After a couple of quick attempts to speak he stood up from the couch and left the room.

 _Without uttering a single word._

Saying the whole situation was awkward would be understatement, it was downright _mortifying_.

Now it turned into a game of who could avoid who. Raven looked into the room, hoping Robin hadn't not woken up. She woke up in an ungodly hour just to avoid him, four am was not a time for anyone to be awake, even the nocturnal Boy Wonder. She quietly moved to the kitchen, making her morning tea.

God what was she doing? She was avoiding Robin like he was the plague. She clutched the metal tea kettle as she turned on the stove. She could only blame herself, maybe her emotions. Wisdom must have taken a holiday and she needed to ring that yellow canary's neck. If she had better control of her emotions, if she was enticed by his sweet actions and words, if she didn't think the way he whispered her name was an invitation.

 _If. If. If._

The cabinets opened and banged closed. Raven froze, and quickly said her mantra. Control, she needed to be in control. There was no good coming from her losing control. Raven sighed, as the kettle whistled. This was the reason why she should be alone, why having a crush was unhealthy.

She was a superhero, and it was her job to keep people safe. _Safe from her_.

Raven poured her tea, finding some comfort in the swirl of colors, the lavender stems, mixing with the shades of green. She gave an uncharacteristic sigh. If they never talked about it, it would be fine with her. It was better this way, ignore the problem and it will-

Raven froze when she heard the sound of yawning behind her. She turned around to be a greeted with a very tired looking Robin.

 _With a mask._

Robin rubbed his face scratching his stomach from under his shirt. He covered his eyes still adjusting to the idea of being awake. He casually walked by Raven, pulling a cup from the cabinet.

"Hey Raven."

Raven clutched her mug. "Hey"

The sound of her voice made Robin stiffen in panic. He hadn't heard that voice in weeks and somehow he missed it. It sounded like the small patters of rain, the soft whistle of wind. However, he had _no right_ to miss it. He had no right to talk to her. The words left his mouth without registering what he said, and he hated himself. It was the first words in three weeks since the last time they spoke. Three whole weeks and all he could say was _hi._

"Umm…tea?" Robin poured coffee into the coffee maker, unable to look at her.

Raven nodded, unable to give a verbal answer. Her tongue felt glued to the roof of her mouth with the texture of sandpaper. Is this what nervousness felt?

"Uh…"Robin started as the coffee trickled down.

He looked up seeing Raven stare, the pools of violet strong and _stern._ Not a single emotion or expression on her face. He wished their bond (if it still existed), was a two way street. That he could feel what she was feeling at this moment. He clutched his mug, quickly glancing at the coffee maker.

Maybe it wasn't the best idea; it would only bring more guilt.

"Uhh." Robin said again.

"Don't." Raven shook her head sipping on her tea.

 _What?_

"Huh?" Robin looked confused, taking a step toward Raven.

She didn't even flinch. "I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to think about it. It's a mistake, right?" Raven nodded, more to herself. "About we keep this professional, and keep quiet. We have work to do, people to save." Raven reminded.

She turned, trying to walk away, and she felt a tug on her arm. She sneered, unimpressed that he stopped her.

Robin tilted his head with a tense jaw and said: "No."

"No?" Raven raised an eyebrow.

"No. We need to talk about this. We are not sweeping it under the rug. This isn't your birthday, Rae."

Raven winced, bringing the unpleasant memory. "Fine."

"Fine." Robin nodded, his eyes looking at his arm still on her bicep.

He slowly let go unsure what to do. What to say. Batman prepared him for many things, tracking down cold cases, forensics, computer programming, and how to prepare for every situation. However, what can you do when you royally fucked up? He was sure not saying words after the kiss was worse thing he could have done. No, scratch that, abruptly _leaving_ without saying a word was the worst thing he could have done. There was no, get out of jail card. Heck, he was willing to lock himself in jail _forever_.

"Raven…" Robin started his voice cracking. He cleared his throat. "Raven, what happened was umm…."He rubbed his face. "I'm sorry."

"I kissed you." She said in the same deadpan manner.

"I know and-"

"No. _I_ kissed you." Raven started again. "I am sorry for doing that. I know my place. It was uncalled for, unprofessional. You are my leader."

"Yes..umm but.." He stopped sighing again. "I fucked up."

Even if Raven kissed him, he couldn't help but feel he enticed her somehow. Yet the way she looked, confused, slightly wounded, he couldn't help but kiss her eyes. Raven's eyes reminded him of the upcoming night that graced the sky with a purple blue horizon. He wanted her to appreciate them, just as much as he did, but somehow-

He looked away not sure how to face her. She was given him that closed up stare that conveyed nothing, and he couldn't bear to looking at it. He hated how she wired herself shut, out to look unfeeling, uncaring. He knew _why,_ but it didn't mean he _liked_ the reason. There was some impulse just to grab her hands, just to swoop her in his arms. He wanted to whisper apologize, soft and subtle like some lullaby.

"I don't know what got to me." Robin started knowing it didn't start right, but it was the truth. "I-and we-and"

Raven rolled her eyes. "Articulate." Raven placed her tea on the counter. "Look Boy _Blunder_ "

The name had been said multiple times, and somehow this felt like nails on chalkboard.

"You are with Starfire." Raven said a slightly crooked frown on her face. "That is the end of it. I was being…impulsive. It didn't mean anything."

"But-"

"It didn't mean anything." Raven warned, snatching the cup from the counter. "We are done."

Robin opened his mouth as he saw her walk away. It wasn't like he planned, well he never planned for this at all.

How the hell was he going to explain this to Star?

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 **Author note:** Of course Robin wants to tell his girlfriend, but not without talking to Raven first lol. I hoped to enjoyed the second installment. Please review when you get the chance.

Xaphrin: Aww thanks hun! Now I can edit and have an actual archive of this story without searching through my tags. No, you are amazing!


	3. Chapter 3: You think

**Author Note:** Raven and Robin are ultimately the end goal. This is a robrae fic, but there will be sprinkles of BBRae and Robstar. I have to break those two up somehow, lol.

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"Friend Raven what do-"

"I kissed Robin."

Maybe it wasn't the buildup she expected, but the words just rushed out.

It had been days since the incident, hours since she had last spoken to Robin. The whole conservation was painful, unable to listen to his excuses. Each excuse would have been some intricate line of silk that would comfort her into believing it wasn't her fault. The kind words would be woven into false sense of security, to make her feel as though she still had a chance.

So she made sure he had no room to make excuses. It would have felt like another trap, only for a silly moth like her to be devoured _again_.

There was a very brief lapse of morals that told her to keep it a secret. That what the Tamaranean didn't know wouldn't hurt her. But the very notion made her blood turn sour and spoil. Raven clenched her fist, how can she do that to her friend? The only close female friend she had in this dimension.

It all amounted to telling her the truth. No matter how ugly it was.

The Tamaranean looked at her bewildered. There was a distant stare, her eyes murky like a bottom of a pond. Raven wondered if betrayal flashed like red signs in the alien's head. Raven half expect to be thrown through a wall, or be yelled some choice words. Yet that wasn't Starfire. Starfire was more dignified.

All that slipped out of Starfire's mouth was:"Why?"

Raven opened her mouth and felt vocal chords cease. She expected a door to be slammed at her face but she never suspected a question. Why? Heck, she didn't even know the answer to that. Maybe it was the way Robin looked at her, the way he kissed her eyes as though she was something precious, something worthwhile. Maybe it was the way he said her name, what she thought was sweet aching with need.

"I don't know Star."

Starfire looked down at Raven. There wasn't an ounce of judgment or vehemence. There was an odd sense of knowing and Raven wondered if Starfire knew why. If there was something she was missing, something she was overlooking.

"You think you are in love." Starfire said the words calm as she reached a kind hand to Raven's shoulder.

Raven bit her tongue, stopping the long stream of words ready to lash out. Ready to state how wrong she was, how she wasn't in love. Yet one key word stopped her.

"Think?" Raven pulling her hood down.

"Yes. Your last experience was…" Starfire eyes shifted trying to find the right word. "Not good, yes? It is deep friendship you and Robin have that you are mistaking for something different."

Raven eyes lowered contemplating Starfire words. Maybe she was right. It wasn't always like this. There were talks, occasional hugs, and sometimes he would hold her hand giving her his best charming smile. Yet those were never suggestive, never passed the point to make her think twice. He understood her, understood what she had to face, what she had to do. That meant everything to her.

When did those things become romanticized?

Raven could only think of one moment.

The day before he took off his mask, they were sitting on the couch at night. Everyone else was asleep, finally having a moments rest. Yet the two birds were awake, unaccustomed to the momentary silence that graced them. Robin seemed to be looking at local crime news online like some hound, while she sat there reading her book.

She looked at him, the way his hand scrolled across the mouse. His hands were a bit feminine, calloused but slender and groomed. Raven wondered if they felt firm and soft at the same time. If his hands felt any different bare to the green Kevlar ones that graced her back once.

He caught her stare, closing the computer screen.

His hand outstretched towards her without a single word. She looked at the fine lines and groves. They seemed oddly beautiful as they etched hashtags and trees. She wanted to trace her fingers across the deep groves, wondering if being a superhero shortened his lifespan. If she could feel his pulse, the strong harmonic rhythm, under his skin.

She placed her hand on his, his fingers gently wrapped around hers. There was a second he looked at her that she couldn't tell what he was thinking. Was this normal? He held her hand before, but it was glove to skin, the Kevlar acting more like an emotional barrier than a physical barrier. Skin to skin was… _intimate,_ radiating heat. He flipped his computer open again, and continued, his hand still holding firmly to hers.

And his hand stayed there all night. Robin typed away as she laid there reading her book. It was something slightly hypnotic, the way he drew soft circles on the back of her hand. They were warm, different from their first initial touch. It was different from the hand Malchior gave her. That was cold, felt like smooth metal that radiated no heat, no kindness for her to hold onto.

That should have been her first clue.

Somehow the smooth circles rocked her to sleep, opening her eyes to see him gone the next morning.

Was _that_ feeling of closeness exceeding friendship in her head?

Raven looked behind Starfire into her room. Right against the wall was a bulletin board. One year, it had been one year since Tokyo; since Robin and Starfire officially became a couple. She was completely marveled how the two titans were able to make it _work._ The bulletin board was proof that they _did_.

There it was, a spread of their feeling, filled with souvenirs and gifts. There were the happy pictures of amusement parks, the picture of Robin with a large bear Starfire won for him from a strong man contest, and the cliché photo booth kiss. They seemed happy.

 _No, they are happy_.

She stared back at Starfire, realizing she was right.

"Yeah" Raven nodded placing her hood back on. "I understand what you mean."

Starfire smiled, but the notion never quite reached her hypnotic green eyes. "You guys are really close, it is understandable."

Starfire turned around, about to close the door. Raven grabbed her.

"You aren't mad?" Her voice was emotionless but her face spoke volumes.

Starfire shook her head. "No."

"Why?" Raven said still confused. She expected some anger, maybe frustration. But utter acceptance scared her.

Starfire looked at Raven seen her distraught, confusion lining in her face she answered. "Because, my people bath in joy. We do not look down upon people…'testing the waters' so to say. You were testing your feelings, no?"

Raven stood back, slightly choked up for some reason. The words were in the tip of her tongue but somehow hard to force out. Her mouth felt full of sand and she wondered how long it would take her to choke. She saw Starfire's eyes, the way they seem to be awaiting her answer.

Somehow that felt like torture.

"You are right." Raven managed to say.

Starfire smiled "Of course…ah, if you would like to have more 'talk of the girl', I would be happy to oblige"

"No…it's okay Starfire. Thanks."

The door promptly closed behind her and Raven stored there staring at the door.

Somehow she felt she lied to Starfire.

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 **Author Note:** You think I was bad to Raven and Robin, wait until I get my hands on Beast Boy. I have up to chapter 8 writing already, it just needs some polishing. I hope you enjoy the story so far! Also, please review when you get the chance.


	4. Chapter 4: Overprotective

**Author Note:** Thank so far for the kind words. I am happy you guys enjoyed it so far. Here is the next update enjoy!

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Robin looked at Raven from the corner of his eye. It had been another four days since their last conversation and everything _seemed_ to be normal. Well normal was a loose term. After a very awkward conversation with Starfire who apparently heard everything from Raven, Robin felt _odd._ He should have felt relieved that his girlfriend took the kiss well; stating that the kiss meant nothing and it was Raven sorting out her feelings. Starfire placed the whole thing as Raven's curiosity.

He watched as Raven poured her tea. Is that what the kiss was, some curiosity being fulfilled? Somehow that didn't sit well with him. The whole kiss was awkward, two faces smashed together but, there was a slight spark when their lips touch. That is what made him quickly pull away. That was danger with yellow tape and big red flags.

 _There shouldn't have been a spark._

He had Starfire, a kind, loving and understanding girlfriend. But Raven was well Raven. She understood him in ways that didn't need words. She was intelligent, sarcastic with a dry sense of humor that reminder him a little of his mentor. He respected her, she was like a sister he never had but-

His eyes wondered over Raven seeing just how much she had changed. Her long sweeping hair, her skin was no longer the ashen pale color, now with rosy undertones and curves that-he stopped himself. In short she had a body of a woman. It no longer the gymnastic leotard uniform but a skin tight one piece that seemed more sensual. It hugged her in ways-

Robin turned his head. These thoughts he should not be thinking. He returned his gaze at his girlfriend as she lathered mustard onto her toast. He smiled just at her unearthly beauty, the childlike and regal essence she had. She understood him in a different way. It was the boy in him that loved her, some unexplored childhood essence that called to Starfire. Their relationship was like a calming fire that felt like home.

They just fit, right?

"Hey Rae"

The voice startled him out of his thoughts. Robin eyes shifted to Raven who stood over the counter, a mug in her hands. Beast Boy smiled, his expression goofier than usual. Robin didn't know why the smile sort of bothered him, but it just didn't seem right on the green boy's face.

"Yes, Beast Boy?" Raven said blowing the steam from her tea.

Beast Boy smiled grew and Robin noted how painful it seemed to look. "Umm…so I saw this jazz club downtown and-"

Robin turned to look at them in the corner of his eyes. He felt a little guilty over hearing them but, he wasn't sure what to think of the scene unfolding in front of him.

"Jazz club, you like jazz?" Raven said her voice in slight surprised.

"Ya, they have some killer tunes. They even have poetry nights some time, really chill place."

Robin twitched, his hand gracing Starfire knee. Who said chill these days?

"Uh huh." Raven said her tone a bit in disbelief.

Beast Boy cleared his throat. "So they have all these exotic teas sometimes. I know you like tea, and well…"

Robin squeezed Starfire's knee, but it must have not been hard enough to make her budge. Her eyes clearly focused on the screen.

"They are doing taste testing of a new shipment this Thursday. I thought you would…umm" Beast Boy cleared his throat "Enjoy it."

Robin could feel his heart thumping against his chest. Was Beast Boy doing what he thought he was doing? The goofy smile was a cover up, hiding just how nervous the green boy was. It was odd, how it just didn't seem _right._ He expected Raven to say no, because it was well Raven. She was something serene and sacred.

He didn't know why he thought anyone dating her would be wrong. Raven was someone pure, and untouchable. It almost felt dirty, lightning ready to strike to try to tarnish that image. The thought of Beast Boy green fingers touching the pure velvet skin felt well, _filthy._

"Are you-" Raven started.

"Oh my god don't say it…" Robin heard the boy's voice crack. "I mean it isn't like that well-"

"Then what does it mean?" Raven voice said her voice with sarcastic undertones and ….interest? Robin turned his head completely away.

"Well…I mean if ya cool with it, it could be called that." Beast Boy cleared his throat "But we don't have to call it anything. Just two cool superheroes enjoying the city they protect. You can call it _that_ if you want…if you enjoy it."

"So this is a not-not-not-not-date?"

"Yeah a not-not…wait err" Beast Boy started ,clearly confuse from the four negatives.

Robin looked at Starfire who didn't seem focused at the scene behind them. Her green eyes watched her show as she munched on her generously mustard lathered toast. Didn't she find the pairing odd? Beast Boy, the prankster youngest of the house was asking Raven the strong mature level headed one on a date. Clearly even Starfire would have objections to this. Yet she continued, not a care in the world.

Robin shrugged, Raven of course will say no.

"When on Thursday?"

It took all his will power _not_ to snap his head towards Raven. Was that a yes?

"Is that a yes?" Beast Boy said his voice in disbelief.

"Pick a time grass stain."

"You'll go?" Robin didn't need to turn his head to know she nodded.

"Woohoo!" Robin heard Beast Boy jump before there was a loud grunt of a gorilla and loud thumping of a chest.

Beast Boy's voice shrilled."This is going to be great! I mean-" Beast Boy cleared his throat. "I promise I will make this worthwhile."

"Yeah well, I need to meditate." He heard the slight click of her heels. "Thursday, you say?"

"Thursday" Robin could just hear Beast Boy's face stretch to new volumes.

Robin heard the slight patter of Raven's heels as she walked out. His eyes turned to Beast Boy who stood there face serene a smile on his face. He should be happy for the guy. Clearly he had grown, taller than him now, his boyish good looks a little more defined. Beast Boy was now more reliable , ever since he grew out of the whole jester phase. He seemed suitable for Raven, as a brother he should be happy.

Then why did he want to jump over there and whack Beast Boy with his Bo staff?

Robin turned when he felt the couch stir. Starfire smiled, the effect quickly calmed him. He squeezed her knee given her a slight kiss.

 _Overprotective_ he thought under Starfire's kiss.

He was just being overprotective.


	5. Chapter 5:Choice Words

**Author Note:** Here is the next installment. There isn't much of a difference between this version and the one on Tumblr. All chapters already set are on my tumblr page if you want to check it out. However, some chapters will be majorly tweaked. So, be forewarned. Anyways enjoy the update!

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Obsessive.

That was one word that summed him up. Robin knew his tendencies. He always picked something to fixate on, may it be Slade or he didn't know he would be obsessive about _this._

So he told himself that the reason he staying up past two am was because he was looking for leads to crimes. It had nothing to do with Raven and Beast Boy not arriving from their date yet. Yup, it has nothing to do with that at all.

Robin looked at the clock as it struck three am. So what if Starfire went into great detail what Raven was wearing on her and Beast Boy's date. Something about a tight skin dress, swooping neck line and right open slit. Raven was a grown women and-

Robin slammed his laptop screen in frustration. Even if both Titans were of age, they should have some sense what time was considered appropriate. They were superheroes; they had patrol, missions, and training in the morning. There was no reason to be this lat-

Robin stopped his thoughts when he heard the sound of the elevator doors opening. There was slight patter of small feet, followed by another swishing door. Then there was slow, almost squishy sound resonating within the corridor. Robin looked around the corner from the couch.

Raven stood in the middle of the hallway looking absolutely miserable.

She was positively soaked. Her hair clung to her forehead, water dripping from the sides. Her plain royal blue maxi dress clung to her in lumps, slightly shear from the water. A pool of water collected below her feet as she held onto her shoes. She gave a sigh as she squished by, clearly in her own world.

Robin licked his lips and called out. "Take it, it didn't go well?"

Raven snapped her head towards Robin. There was a moment of fire, a flash of fury through her eyes. It quickly quenched before any damage could be done.

"What was your first clue?" Raven replied bitterly, licking a stray droplet of water that fell from her lips.

Robin knew his next words would surely put him in the dog house. "What happened?"

Raven seemed to grunt in response giving him a look that told all. Somewhere down the line Beast Boy done goofed. Robin shuddered, feeling fear racing through his blood. If looks could kill, Raven would have murdered him ten million times over. He was worried if Beast Boy's body was somewhere in the bottom of the ocean.

"Do you want to know?" Raven tilted her head.

"Yes." Somehow his yes sounded more like a question.

He saw the different emotions run through her eyes. In a blink they seem to disappear back to the Pandora's Box she kept them in. Raven walked over to the couch each squishy step resonating in the empty living room. She wrung her long hair out on top of the carpet, clearly not caring about the mess she was making. Her eyes looked at Robin carefully. Robin gulped; it seemed more like he was being inspected under a hot interrogator lamp than about to be told a simple tale.

Raven let out a heavy sigh. "I placed a glamour spell on both of us, so we didn't get bothered during our….outing. The jazz club was surprisingly…nice."

Robin felt his disappointment leap to bottom of his stomach. He stopped _, Disappointed about what_?

"He thought it be nice to row a boat back to the tower. It is a full moon." Raven let out another heavy sigh before hugging herself from the cold. "But grass stain didn't take silence well and he thought it would be funny to morph into animals to keep me entertained."

Raven eyes flashed dangerously before turning her full attention to Robin. " Let just say boat got destroyed and since I was exhausted from the glamour spell I couldn't just fly back." Raven shook her head.

"You swam back?" Robin gulped, fear for his team member setting in.

"Beast Boy turned to a dolphin and swim us back. He also swam back for the expensive shoes Starfire lend me." Raven snorted. "Doesn't make him less of an idiot."

"Is he…" Robin started, afraid to even ask. "Alive?"

Robin swore he saw a slight smirk that graced her lips before it quickly disappeared. "For now."

Robin couldn't help but release a slight chuckle. He knew Raven was miserable, positively drenched top to bottom. Yet he felt sorry for his team mate knowing it must have taken him all his courage to ask Raven out. Then again there was a slight sliver, a tiny fragment of him that felt relieved that Beast Boy messed up. Robin pushed that emotion off as being a big brother, wanted Raven to stay pure, untainted.

There was silence between them as Raven stood behind the couch. Robin looked at his closed laptop. Somehow this type of silence okay, it was comfortable, with a sense of warmth and belonging between them. It been days since the incident, since they had a normal conversation. It was always small glances or utter avoidances between them. This felt normal, they felt normal. It made it feel that whatever happened they were going to be okay.

Robin turned his head and watched Raven as she shivered. "Maybe you should get out of your wet clothes."

Raven gave him a slight warning stare. "I will." She shrugged "I'm enjoying the silence."

Robin turned his attention to the goose bumps forming on her bare arms. Somehow it felt enticing, inviting him to touch the rosy pale skin. The thought was dangerous and he knew it, but he couldn't help himself. The thought of hugging her close, sharing warmth between them crossed his mind but he knew he shouldn't, that he couldn't.

He pulled open his cape and carefully draped it over her. Under the bright cape he noticed just how small and precious she looked. In the light of the moon there was almost ethereal glow to her. If Starfire was the sun, radiating in warmth and kindness, Raven was the moon. She glowed so faintly and bashfully with otherworldly beauty. He couldn't help but admire her.

Raven looked up at him, an emotion unexplainable in her violet eyes.

"Thank you." Raven whispered.

Robin smiled. "You're welcome."

"But please stop doing things like this." Raven said ripping the cape from her.

 _Huh?_

Robin looked at her confused as threw the cape back at him. Somehow it stung, some sort of rejection laced in the notion. He didn't know what he did wrong, if anything. Yet Raven wasn't one for misdirected anger. The simple gesture seemed like turn to a new bases of a fight.

"What do you mean?" Robin said grabbing his cape back into his hand.

Raven turned her head away, her body shivering and shoulders slumped in embarassment. It may have been weeks but the memory of the kiss was still fresh. She knew what enticed her, what made her leap forward. It was moments like _this_ that made her feel that there was something more between them.

"Stop." Raven said bracing herself from the cold.

"I'm just trying-"

Raven snapped "I know Robin and that is the problem. You are too nice. The compliments, the holding hands, and acting like you're in my head." Raven frowned. "I get this bond we have, but _this_ is not part of it Robin. Keep these notions of kindness to yourself."

Raven snatched her shoes from the floor and turned around. He knew he shouldn't hold her back, shouldn't have reached for her bicep to stop her. Yet every word she said stung, and made him furious. There was a little ring in his head, fire in his blood, and frustration in his soul that wanted to tell her off.

Robin stared at the petite woman in his hands. "What is wrong with that? What if I hold your hand? What if I compliment you? Or act like I know you so well. Sometimes you look like you need to be held and the best I can do is hold your hand." Robin could hear his voice crack, emotion lacing each word. Yet he couldn't control himself. "Sometimes you don't see the beauty of your words or in _you_ that I have to remind you."

Raven gave a slight tug to pull away, her eyes void of emotion. He could hear the clicks of her locks, the Pandora box pushed under a dragon for safe keeping. It seemed to seal the fate of the conversation, emotion no longer the driving force. Rationality ran its ugly head and he could already see how his words were going to be used against him.

"Because." Raven said slowly, her voice deadpan. "You should save those for Starfire. I'm just-"

"Like a sister to me." Robin interrupted.

Even the words felt poisonous to him.

He didn't know how he knew, maybe it was their bond but he saw how his words seem to slip through her. It seem to coarse through her veins and from the look of her eyes he can tell his words corroded and burned. Each word laced with something potent enough to corrode away the thick walls of restrain. Robin bit his tongue wishing he could take his words back, but how else would he describe their relationship?

"Is this why you stayed until three am to make sure I was back? Because it was the brotherly thing to do?" Raven said her voice dripping with disdain.

He felt his heart thumping against his chest. Fuck, she knew. Robin kicked himself just how plainly obvious he was that he waited for her. He didn't know why he waited but it wasn't for this. Just to fuel their previous fight, to create more bad blood between them. Robin could feel their bond vibrate between them.

"I'm not your sister" Raven shook her head. "I'm your team mate" Raven pulled from his grasp. "I suggest to be treated as such. "

Robin stepped back feeling their bond stretch and thin. He could see the slight crackle of power as Raven fought for control. Her eyes seem to become murky, the violet hues now dark like pits. He was torn between soothing her pain and releasing the very angry choice words ready to burst at her. His felt his own emotions crackle like electricity on his skin, yet they weren't finely controlled like hers.

"Damn it Raven" His voice raised an octave. The rest of the team was sleeping, unaware of the war brewing. Yet he couldn't control his voice, emotion driving the volume. "You are more to me than a teammate. You-"

Raven clenched her fist, black magic flickering in her fingertips. " What I'm I Robin?"

Robin closed his mouth.

Fuck.

 _Fuck._

What was Raven to him?

There was silence between them. Raven scoffed knowing he wouldn't answer. The Boy Blunder didn't know the answer. He didn't know what he was doing, what he was doing _to her_. What every moment with him alone felt. She felt stupid thinking she was special, one of the few to witness the man behind the mask.

"Let me answer that for you, Robin." Raven turned her head away a long ragged breath released. He could feel the energy dissipate, emotion stuffed back in Pandora's Box. "I'm a fellow teammate. One you do not hug, touch, or….whisper sweet nothings to." Raven blinked tears brimming at the end of her eyelashes. Robin looked away not able to face her. "We are friends at best, much like the way you treat Cyborg."

Raven stepped away from the couch, turning to the direction of her room. "Because, I can't handle how you treat me now."

Then she walked away, leaving him dumbfounded in the living room.

 _What was that supposed to mean?_

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 **Author Note:** I am not making it easy for our Boy Wonder. He really should choose his words wisely, and his mannerism. I'm making them both such a mess! I am sorry, please forgive me! I hope you enjoyed this update, plus please don't forget to Review!


	6. Chapter 6: Peonies

**Author Note:** Sorry I wanted to update like on Saturday, but then I got sick. However, due to the holidays, I have some time to write as much as I can, when I am not playing video games. (My kick ass bf bought me a really sweet high graphics computer, and well...-). Anyways the chapter!

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Beast Boy never thought of himself as extremely intelligent. But he never thought he be down right _stupid_.

He scurried through the kitchen, in the form of a green mouse. He managed to get inside the cupboard, chewing on the cardboard of the Quaker Oats container. When he finally reached the grainy goodness, he let out a squeal; feeling like he was finally going to dine like a King.

A little mouse king.

He knew the feeling of fullness wouldn't last long. His little mouse tummy could hold two or three bites of dry grain until he was full. But once he reached his true form, the empty vacuum in his tummy would be back again. All this work to get food, turning into a mouse, was all to avoid one person: Raven.

He swallowed the dry grains and just winced at the thought of Raven. He had spent months trying to find the courage to ask her out. He feared that the very words 'date', would send him into another dimension. Yet she accepted the invitation to the "possible" date, which made his little heart bubble and burst with excitement.

He had planned it all out, an assortment of classic and new experimental teas to taste, poetry, some smooth jazz to lighten the mood. They exchanged information talking about Cyborg blowing up the T-car due to failed installation of a new electric battery, Starfire passing out after eating seven gallons of sriracha after the green boy said it was exactly like mustard, and how Robin's hair had gotten longer, something akin to Starfire's tales of Nightwing. The last comment got a rare smirk from her which she agreed, but said she sort of liked his new hairstyle.

The food was surprisingly good, and they enjoyed every last mouthful of it. There were times that her head turned towards the stage, listening to the smooth melody of a saxophone her eyes closed as though carefully writing down the notes in her head. Garfield couldn't help but look at just how calm and serene she was. He reached over and grabbed her hand as it laid on the desk.

He half expected her to move her hand away, for her face to contort into lines of repulsion. Yet her eyes fluttered open, the pools of violet staring back at him. There was a slight smirk before she pulled her hand away only to clutch her hand over his, before turning her head back towards the stage.

The very contact made his heart beat right out of his chest.

They walked around the city after one am, the city still very alive. They looked at street vendors and bought some street food, which they both never had a luxury in tasting. When they got to the pier, he spotted someone handing out boats for a romantic boat stroll around Titan Tower. He thought it be a great way to end; water, the smell of the ocean, the moon cascading over them, and maybe, just maybe he could get a kiss. He licked his lips at the thought.

Yet that's where the perfect day, turned into one of the stupidest moment of his life. He had to swim them back to shore, her powers drained from the glamour spell. He felt her anger seethe as they got to the Tower, but she stayed silent, picked up the shoes he retrieved and walked to the door. He shamelessly turned to a mouse, scurrying ahead of her; too afraid to figure out what happened if she arrived first.

Beast Boy sighed, and now here he was eating like a mouse. He was too afraid to even apologize to Raven, even if he had done it in his mind a million times that day. So he had avoided her like the plague the last week, eating anything he could find on the floor. Only showing up to missions and training before scurrying back to his room.

Damn, he hated himself.

Beast Boy squealed hearing the sound of the cupboard opening. He scurried behind the Quaker Oats, his beady little eyes staring around the corner.

"What the?" The voice said seeing the grains splattered on the cupboard shelf. The hand reached and pulled out the Quaker box.

Robin stared at his green friend. "Beast Boy?"

Beast Boy squealed.

Robin rolled his eyes clearly not amused. "You're the one poking holes in the macaroni

and grains?"

Beast Boy jumped off the cupboard, returning to his original form.

"Umm…" Beast Boy rubbed the back of his neck. "Haha, what's up man?"

Robin tapped his foot in annoyance. "Why are you eating from the cupboard? I seriously thought we had a rat problem. Cyborg is downstairs making a rat obliterator."

Beast Boy gulped. "I don't know, I just thought-" Beast Boy then began to realize he was talking to Robin.

Raven's best friend: Robin. He was his leader, someone he respected, but he was also; Raven's best friend. She probably told him every gruesome detail of what happened last week. How he ruined his only chance with her, by turning into an elephant, on a boat. A freaking boat. He bit his lip, the very thought making his mouth feel dry.

"Nothing man…" Beast Boy kicked his feet. "It doesn't matter."

Robin grumbled, clearly not caring or just too lazy to make Beast Boy elaborate on the situation. He reached for the coffee granules, pouring it into the coffee maker. Beast Boy chewed on his lip. He wondered just how much Raven had told Robin. Saying Raven was secretive would be an understatement. She was quiet but twice as likely to bite than a rattlesnake if provoked. Robin was just the same, but somehow he felt he was a lot harder to open up. Whatever secrets Robin had, he was sure he would take them to his grave.

Yet he had to ask.

"Did umm…Raven by chance you know. " Beast Boy gulped. "Talk about me?"

Robin looked at Beast Boy pressing the coffee maker button. Beast Boy could see, the slight bags under his mask, and the unkempt hair; his long fringe sticking to his forehead. He had _clearly_ had a bad night and the morning wasn't putting him in a better mood.

Robin was clearly annoyed at the question, grumbling in response. "Not since your _marvelous_ performance."

Beast Boy groaned, _so he did know_.

Robin turned and Beast Boy could hear him grumble again. "Not like she talked to me after that."

Beast Boy stiffened not sure what to make of that information. Raven wasn't talking to Robin? Sure he thought their relationship lately seemed a little strained. Them avoiding each other like the bubonic plague, but he thought it had been fixed. Whenever they disagreed, (and, _Raven and Robin never argued)_ , they always patched things up. He was pretty sure it was that whole mind meld thing that made them understand each other so well.

"She isn't speaking to you too?" Beast Boy looked at him dumbfounded. "I mean I didn't think what I did-"

Robin shook his head returning to the cupboard to get his mug. "Trust me you had _nothing_ to do with this." Robin shrugged bitterly, and he poured his coffee. "Let's just say we are both in the dog house. Heck, I still don't know what the hell I did wrong."

Beast Boy gave a nervous laugh. "Girls right?"

Robin raised his eyebrow, completely unamused. He sipped at his coffee leaning against the counter. "No. Raven usually has a good reason." His grip tightened around the handle. "I know why you messed up. With your little animal display."

Beast Boy gulped, he could see laps around every floor in the Tower in his near future.

"I just-" Robin stopped, unable to say the words. Beast Boy could see Robin was tense, the smell of anxiety and pride hung in the air. Secrets, Robin had secrets.

"Never mind." Robin shrugged, gulping down his coffee.

Beast Boy stared at the floor utterly defeated. What was he supposed to say? Robin had laid out his mistake in red print for him. How was he supposed to get back in Ravens good graces? He wanted Raven. Hell! A part of him said he needed her, something animalistic roaring below his stomach. He wanted to be the one to make her happy, to see her smile secretly for him, to completely become undone by him.

He looked at Robin. Maybe he would know how to get back on her good side?

Beast Boy cleared his throat. "Umm…maybe I should do something special?" Beast Boy bowed his head. "Do you know something she likes?"

Robin looked at Beast Boy and Beast Boy could see the hesitation. Robin's body tensed. His grip strengthening around the mug, Beast Boy almost thought it would shatter. Beast Boy took a step back.

Was Robin too mad at him for what he did to Raven? He knew the whole best friend thing ordeal, but he wouldn't take it to the extreme and hurt him right?

Right?

Beast Boy laughed dryly, not sure what to make of the anger radiating from the boy whole scene pushed at him to become defensive, to stand guard. Yet this was his leader, not an animal claiming territory.

Right?

Robin put his mug down and folded his arms across his chest. Beast Boy expected this act from Cyborg, but not from Robin. He gulped, _I guess he tries to take care of everyone._

"You really think you can fix this?" Robin asked his voice low.

Fix it? No. Persuade her to forgive him. Maybe, a definite maybe.

Beast Boy nodded.

Robin shook his head. "She likes peonies."

Beast Boy stiffened "Ponies?"

"Pe-o-nies, it is a type of flower. Get her white peonies, and only the white ones." Robin grabbed his mug, turning away from him.

Beast Boy danced, he had another chance! Sure it wasn't something he expected the dark mistress to like but, heck! Raven was filled with mysteriousness. If she wanted peonies, he was giving her god damn peonies, enough to cover her entire room with them. Peonies, all he had to do is do something romantic with peonies, and maybe she give him another chance. He could hear his heart thump in his ears.

He heard Robin clear his throat and Beast Boy stopped. He blushed realizing he was dancing like a total spaz in front of Robin. He cleared his throat trying to hide the total embarrassment from his green face.

"Don't tell her but; she always forgives someone if you give her peonies." Robin said washing his coffee mug with a dish rag.

"How do you know that?" Beast Boy asked.

"How you think I got her to forgive me after the whole Red-X fiasco?" Robin laughed tilting head, his stare a little distant. "I jumped right over Starfire to attack her directly and taped her mouth shut."

Oh yeah, the whole Red-X thing. Heck, they were all mad, Starfire taking it the hardest. Raven seemed the most understanding of the situation, he almost didn't believe Robin's words.

He watched as Robin left, placing the mug back in the cupboard. As soon as he was out of the kitchen there was only one thing on Beast Boys mind: dance. It was great news, a ticket to always be in her good graces. He didn't want to abuse it, but he couldn't help but feel that he was going to get on her nerves a lot. Well until she found out that he was her ideal man.

"And Beast Boy?"

Beast Boy stopped.

"Don't fuck up this time, peonies don't work forever."

Mental note: keep Ravens annoyance to a minimal.

* * *

 **Author Note:** Beast Boy is too cute! Ugh I hate myself for what I am going to do to him. Ugh, please kill me, I made him to loveable. Anyways enjoy the chapter! See you next chapter! Please review if you have the chance.


	7. Chapter 7: So, Saturday?

**Author Note:** I decided why not post the next chapter? All of them a slightly revised now. There are just some instances I changed from the original tumblr post that changes the tone a little. Here you go.

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She had spent eight hours meditating. Eight hours every day for the last two weeks just to keep her emotions in check. She could feel Robin's emotion pull and bend on the other end of their bond. They were gentle pushes, much like a wave pushing sand on a shore. If she didn't know any better she would have sworn he was trying to pry himself in. Trying to figure out what exactly it was that had made them become so distant and why it was yet again another game of avoidance. But their bond was a one-way street, she could sense him but there is no way she would let him sense her.

There were just too many secrets she wanted to hide from him.

Raven sighed opening her bedroom door. She knew she should be more rational about the situation, but Wisdom had taken an extended leave with Anger's 'help'. She should be more understanding, Robin could be-

Raven gasped.

Peonies. There were peonies everywhere. Not just any peonies, but white peonies. On her bed, her shelf, even her floor was littered with arrangements of them. Raven pick a basket up and sniffed the light fragrance of the flowers.

They smelled like the incense the monks would burn during meditation, the fields right outside her chambers in Azarath, the shampoo her mother used-it just smelled like home. She could feel heavy feeling of nostalgia stuck deep in her throat.

She looked at the remaining baskets. There was only one person who knew about peonies. One person who would dare use it against her: Robin.

Raven held on to the basket her nails digging into it. _This_ was why she was avoiding him. This was why she wanted to keep their contact to a minimal. _Littering_ her floor with flowers, peonies to get back in her good graces. _This-_

The basket blew up, causing peony petals to cascade down around her.

-Was what got him into this mess in the first place.

Raven huffed, her chest heaving as she said her mantra in her head. How can she forget about him when every notion of kindness was straight out of a cheesy romance novel? How can she look at Starfire, kind and innocent Starfire, when she had mixed feelings towards her boyfriend? Raven pulled at her hair, hearing her lights flicker. She liked him, but she shouldn't. He acted like he liked her, _but he didn't._ He just didn't.

Raven heard a knock on her door. She clenched her hands grabbing another basket opening her bedroom door.

"Robin, do you think that-"She started, she can feel her anger seethe; the distinctive red eyes forming on her face.

She expected Robin, the stupid Boy Blunder trying to explain his display of flowers. How it was just a simple apology. What she got instead was a very confused Best Boy, who was two seconds shy from crapping himself.

Raven hissed smelling fear. She had to control herself from lunging at him, the smell too enticing to not attack. Anger just mewled in delight. Her anger was misdirected and she knew it. She let out a heavy breath, feeling her body shake from the release, the stormy red to pools turned to violet. Her eyes flicked to the peonies in her hands and back to her green team mate.

Beast Boy cleared his throat. "Umm...I see you got the flowers." Beast Boy said, looking at the still cascading flower petals.

"Yeah...how-"Raven blinked pulling down her hood. "Did you know?"

Beast Boy rubbed the back of his neck. There was a slight blush covering his face, his green eyes flicked towards her before his attention turned to the lighting fixture. He was clearly nervous, she could feel his emotions tangled like chords and he had good reason. Especially after the whole boat incident.

He cleared his throat again trying to force the words out.

"Robin, told me. He said white peonies were your favorite…" he said his eyes growing wide "they are, right?"

Raven looked at the basket in her hand, her nails growing right into the basket. She sighed retracting her claws. The flowers weren't from Robin. They weren't from Robin and she had no idea how to feel about that. Not only were they not from Robin, but Robin told Beast Boy about the peonies. That was something they shared, something only he knew about her.

Raven didn't know _what_ to feel.

She looked at Beast Boy, whose eyes were glued to the floor, shoulders slumped, as he rubbed his neck nervously.

Raven sighed. "Thank you, Beast Boy...I appreciate them."

Beast Boy looked up and she couldn't help to see how innocent, and pure he just seemed. There was a serious boyish charm about him, his face stretching to two dimples, his eyes like large mirrors. He grinned, one fang hanging out. "No problem"

Beast Boy straighten up, trying to casually lean against the door frame. His forearm slipped off the metal frame making him lose his footing. He quickly regained it, and Raven couldn't help but smirk at his mistake. He gave a shy grin slightly embarrassed, putting his hand on the metal frame, leaning on it his ankles crossed in what she guessed was his best seductive pose.

"So, Saturday?" Beast Boy said, and she couldn't help but notice his voice became deeper.

Raven raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

Beast Boy blushed, the color almost purple under his green skin. The rapid flutter of his eyelashes, the way his leg shook slightly, she could see the panic settle in. He stood up straight, his eyes staring at the ceiling again. He seemed not to be able to look at her, his nerves getting the better of him. She could see the slight tension in his jaw, and the way he bit down hard on his lip.

"In the baskets I left a message to ask if you wanted to go to the movies on Saturday." Beast Boy looked at her a little dejected. "Did you not get it?" Beast Boy panicked. "Oh gosh, they didn't write it at all did they? The store lady was nice, but she just seemed more interested in talking to a Titan, so she may not have written the message. Oh man! did they right something else?" He bit his lip. "Darn, I knew I should have worn a holo-"

"You're rambling. "Raven said in her monotone manner. "Look, thanks for the flowers Beast Boy. Sorry I exploded one, I thought they were from Robin." Raven looked away knowing something was written in her expression, but exactly what, she wasn't sure. "Don't take offense, this is sweet and all but-"

Beast Boy raised his hand to stop her. "Okay, Raven before you finish that. " Beast Boy sighed and she can see him physically gulp. "I'm sorry I screwed up on...whatever it was. But come on give me another chance."

Beast Boy reached for her hand under her cloak. He held her hands between his hands and they looked so small compared to his. Beast Boy had grown, now taller than her, taller than Robin even. His hand felt callus, his grip strong even though his palms were slightly sweaty. There was a sense of fear that was hitting her in pulses. He gave her a look from under his eyelashes, a sheepish grin hiding his fear. Raven blinked, not knowing what to do with the obviously kind gesture. The only other person who touched her like this was Robin.

"I promise you won't regret it." Beast Boy looked at her, his eyebrows furrowed, his shoulders slightly slumped as though a burden was laid on him. "It took all my courage just to ask you out the first time."

Raven blinked, just how long? Beast Boy never seem to show interest towards her. There were a few times when he would seek her out to tell jokes, he would play chess with her on occasion, but nothing to make her suspect he liked her. Raven gulped, how could she be so blind?

"Fine Beast Boy," she sighed "luckily for you I believe in second chances." _Azar only knows how many chances I have gotten_ , Raven thought bitterly.

"Saturday is fine." Raven pulled her hand from his grasp.

Beast Boy's face lit up.

"And Beast Boy, no animal documentaries or Michael Bay films where everything goes boom." Raven closed the door.

Raven huffed banging her head against the metal door. Maybe she would feel something the second time round, maybe her feelings for Robin would disappear, maybe just maybe she could learn to like Beast Boy, learn to love him. She banged her head on the metal door again. Starfire must be right. It had to be a different kind of like, admiration or even deep friendship.

Raven grabbed her hair. When was Knowledge when she needed her, where was Wisdom and Happiness? All her emotions seemed to be cascaded with fear, with confusion, with _anger_. No matter how much she meditated her emotions refused to be calmed. She was still a spiraling mess.

Raven heard another knock at the door. She clenched her fist, not ready to face anyone, not ready to be social. She turned opening her bedroom door.

Raven held her gasp, the last person she wanted to see stood before her. Robin looked at Raven before his eyes scanned her room. He raised an eyebrow, but there wasn't an ounce of surprise. Raven crossed her arms, frowning at the Boy Wonder.

"Flowers Raven?" Robin asked with a grin. "Got a secret admirer? Fan mail?"

Raven peeked over her shoulder before looking back at Robin. "They're from Beast Boy. You should know, you gave him the idea. "

Robin paled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, he wanted to get back into your good graces."

"Right." Raven stared at the ceiling. Is this why Beast Boy stared up? Because he couldn't look at her, too many emotions coursing through his veins that were brought up by her face.

She wanted to throw Robin out the window. She wanted him to hold her tight.

"So I'm guessing he apologized already?"

Raven gave a half shrug, wanting this conversation to be quick and painless.

"So, are you going out with him again?" Robin asked.

Raven looked away. He was the last person she wanted to utter those words. Two weeks and he still hadn't figured it out. Maybe he was being insensitive, maybe he was just being _Robin_ , the infamously oblivious Robin.

She hummed in response. "Saturday."

Robin looked surprised rubbing his neck out of nervous habit. "Oh, that's um...nice."

"Yeah, nice." Raven looked at him.

Her fearless leader looked five minutes from falling apart. She could see the heavy bags under his eyes, the slump of his shoulders; far from his normally perfect posture, and his untidy hair up in a bun. She knew the signs, it was another one of his fixations. He was probably staying up all night, staring at a computer screen trying to solve yet another mystery.

Normally she was always there, looming over his shoulder. Pointing out clues he had missed, details he had overlooked. She would sometimes soothe his headache and talk about the mundane. Yet she wasn't there anymore, too wrapped in her own emotions to ease his. Raven looked away, she knew that the reason he looked like that was because of her.

Robin cleared his throat. "Umm, I was thinking of taking Star to the movies actually. Maybe we can make it a double date."

Raven head snapped back to him. _What?_

He gave a slight smile. "It will be fun." Robin shrugged. "You don't mind right?"

Jealousy brought something green and foul to rise up to her chest. Raven bit the inside of her cheek, trying not to look positively _green_. Mind? Of course she minded. How could she sit there and watch him hold her hand, the same way he used to hold hers? How could she listen to Starfire's giggles when he spoke sweet nothings to her. She was supposed to be over it, over him.

Maybe she needed this. Needed to see the super couple be, well, a couple. Maybe she would forget all his sweet words he used to whisper, the way he kissed her eyes, or the way he held her hand. Maybe, just god damn maybe, she would see just how perfect they were together. How he was happy with Starfire.

Then she might be able to see that _this_ was nothing more than admiration.

Raven sighed. "Fine Boy Blunder, you talk to Beast Boy about the double date."

Robin smiled. "Cool, I'll make arrangements with him and Star. It will be fun, kind of like when we went to the movies."

Raven grimaced; each of his words biting and chewing at her. That was when they were alone, spending time as 'friends'. Sadly, the movie theater Robin picked was closed for repairs. Instead they wandered around the streets for hours with nothing but good conversation to occupy them. Yet that was back then, before the kiss. Before there was a Starfire and Robin.

Raven nodded her face expressionless "Like old times." she said before shutting the door.

 _Like old times._

* * *

 **Author Note:** Wow, I guess Beast Boy is a go big or go home type of guy. *Heavy Sighs*, also Robin seems so very clueless on what he did wrong.

Anyways enjoy, this installment~


	8. Chapter 8: Movie Night

**Author Note** : Sorry for the delay. I was sick after Christmas and had some life things that came up. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy the next installment.

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Black hair, blue eyes was something normal. Yet every time she used the spell, she could never recognize herself in the mirror. It wasn't her eyes that stared back at her, the wisdom and wear of the world that was laced in every muscle in her iris. These blue eyes were a lot more youthful, almost _naive_ and hopeful of what the world would bring.

Who knew at the tender age of twenty she would have the eyes of someone ancient?

Raven sighed casually looking at her reflection in front of the movie theater windows. She arrived earlier than the others, stating she had something to see in town. Of course that was a lie, she just wanted to get away. Away from Beast Boy running around the Tower like a chicken with its head cut off, and watching Starfire cycle through dresses.

If she saw Starfire change dresses one more time, she was going to blow up the Tower.

Raven kept rocking back and forth shifting her weight from her heels to her front foot. Hours in Nevermore and meditation hadn't help. She still had Robin's words run through her head like poison, twisting views of their platonic relationship. Things were _not_ like old times, not in the slightest. She couldn't see that kiss as just a kiss, something they could overlook. She was supposed to be the mature one, the one that had everything together. Raven sighed, she couldn't help but feel that was far from the truth.

Raven touched her lips, remembering the scars on his. Some felt new, edges rough; others were much older, already smoothed over by time. Somehow it just gave Robin character, no longer some Mary Sue who was an unbreakable force.

It was her first kiss. _No_ , technically that wasn't right. It was her first kiss that she felt warmth, the first time she felt flesh against flesh. It wasn't exquisite with booming fireworks. Kisses never felt like that, at least not with Malchior. Malchior was like hard metal, cold to the touch, but sleek and silver much like the tongue he used to weave his lies. Robin was the first taste of something corporeal, something warm and tender pressed against her lips.

"Hey Rae"

Raven pulled her hand away from her lips and looked over her shoulder. There was Beast Boy waving his arms with a goofy grin. She gave a shy wave, before noticing what was behind him. There it was, starry-eyed Starfire giggling at Robin, their hands interlaced. Raven bit her tongue to stop her voice.

This was not about _them_ , this was about Beast Boy.

"Hey sorry did you wait long?" Beast Boy asked, rubbing his neck tenderly. "Robin had trouble finding his hair gel." He grinned.

Of course the hair gel. Robin probably had a lifetime supply of it. She could only imagine him looking at the mirror for hours as he shaped each follicle into place. When was the last time Starfire and Robin went out in public? Raven couldn't even remember a time when he used civilian clothes. She was tempted to look.

 _Don't look,_ she thought _._

Raven shrugged, her eyes focused on Beast Boy. "No...it's okay. I had a look around."

Her voice sounded too monotonous to her. How many emotions had she stuffed down?

Beast Boy smiled and there was that childlike wonder and beauty. Fate had given him an unfair hand. His family was gone, his second family broken, and green skin that made him look more alien than Starfire, yet he stayed strong. He was always light-hearted, unable to see the world as something ugly. Somehow she envied his outlook. Even watching him smile was like a whiff of purity.

Raven sighed brushing her fingers against Beast Boy's cheek. His green face stretching to new volumes, with that cute little canine poking out.

Raven started. "Green? Do you want me to place a glamour-"

Beast Boy shook his head nuzzling his face into her hand. "No, it's okay. If you accept me this way, I'm fine."

Raven bit her cheek to hold back a gasp. There was the taste of rosewater in the tip of her tongue, the color of pink that was distinctive of happiness and-

"Ahem."

Raven started pulling her hand away from Beast Boy face. She looked at Robin who _cleverly_ was trying to get their attention. She couldn't see under his sunglasses the way he was staring at them, his eyebrows furrowed, disappearing into the dark glass. Raven stopped herself from clicking her tongue at his disguise. Even now, he refused to show his true self.

"We should go in and get the tickets." Robin pointed to the movie theater. "How to train your Dragon 2"

Starfire smiled "Yes, the movie shows Dragons in a positive light. Ones that are pink and blue, and cuddle with you. Much different than-"

There must have been something on Raven's face because her stare stopped Starfire dead in her tracks.

"Well let's go in shall we?" Robin said walking inside the theater; Starfire in tow.

Beast Boy looked at Raven raising his elbow to give her his arm. "My lady?"

Raven shook her head. "Don't get your hopes up." She said before walking in the theater.

In took them a couple of minutes to settle down. Robin went to purchase snacks as they went to get seats. They were lucky to get four seats next to each other. Beast Boy took the seat off to the left claiming to be able to see the screen better, Starfire far right. This left the two birds in the middle. Raven huffed trying not to show her nervousness as she sat next to Beast Boy.

Robin arrived with a basket of snacks."Popcorn and mustard packs," he whispered to Starfire before handing it to Starfire.

"Thank you boyfriend Robin." Starfire chimed.

"Popcorn for Beast Boy." He passed it to Raven to hand over.

"Thanks, dude" Beast Boy said starting to munch on the popcorn.

Raven sighed leaning toward Beast Boy. As the room became dark and the previews started she felt a slight tap on her knee. She looked over to Robin who casually leaned in, sliding Reese's pieces above the arm of her chair.

"Reese's pieces are your favorite." Robin whispered.

Raven looked at the candy sliding it into her palm. It was another sweet gesture, something only he knew about her. Raven placed the treat on her lap. This meant nothing she reminded herself. It was Robin being his usual mother duck self.

"Thanks." Raven muttered below a whisper. She watched as Robin smiled before his attention return to the screen.

She leaned to her left watching the beginning sequence. The movie scenery was beautiful, the story well written. But it had the same fatal flaw when Robin forced her to watch the first movie during Titan movie night. It wasn't realistic. Dragons were not slobbering dogs, cute and fuzzy. There were intelligent beings, each fiber of their being filled with power. They were mystical, complex and mischievous.

 _I should know_ , she snorted.

She looked at Beast Boy who seemed occupied with the colors to the point of speechlessness. That was a rare sight. She looked to her left watching Starfire's head rest on Robin's arm. Raven quickly looked away, not sure what was the feeling that bursted in her chest.

Is this how a healthy relationship looks like, she wondered. The starry-eyed, closeness and caresses. She looked at Beast Boy. Maybe if she acted the part, providing attention and innocent caresses the feelings would surface. Maybe she would know how liking someone felt like, proving this was just admiration.

Raven gently leaned in feeling slightly awkward. She closed her eyes resting her temple on Beast Boy's shoulder. She felt Beast Boy tense, his shoulders rising almost in fear. There was a shift of weight before she felt his arm wrap around her shoulder. Raven looked up at Beast Boy who wasn't even staring at the screen. His attention focused in an imaginary corner, his green cheeks slightly flushed. Somehow the scene looked oddly….cute.

She gave a content sigh, as she closed her eyes, hearing the words and music of the movie. This was about Beast Boy. It wasn't about the person on her right, or the person one seat over that. It was about second chances.

Raven rested her right hand over the armrest. Minutes went by until she felt the slight tug of her fingers. She felt something wrap around her pinky; warm but slightly rough. She looked over and in the darkness of the theater she could see Robin's pinky wrapped around hers. His eyes were focused on the movie, Starfire's arms wrapped around his as they watched.

This was something Robin and her always did as he typed at his laptop and she read her books of spells. Those were moments alone in the couch, a comfort that they will have each others back. It was like a constant confirmation of a promise neither of them established. Maybe it was subconscious thing Robin did, maybe he didn't realize what he was doing. That his touch brought butterflies in her stomach, brought feelings strong enough that she had to use all control to bring her emotion in check.

She watched for seconds, wondering if he would notice his closeness, his fatal she saw no notion for him to move, to unwrap his innocent pinky from hers, Raven pulled her hand away. She felt her heartbeat inside her ears, as she spoke her mantra in her head. She told herself she had to be the mature one, this little touch meant nothing that they-

Raven turned and whispered to Beast Boy "I need to go."

Raven swiftly got up, removing herself from the theater. She couldn't control herself and she knew it. She couldn't control herself when so many emotions ran through her like poison in her veins. Trash cans slammed against the wall, light flicker at she rushed outside. She didn't know how much longer she could contain the poison.

Raven huffed and repeated her mantra in her head. She watched the slight vortex of energy around her as she ran outside. She couldn't release her emotions here. Not when one huff could blow down the entire theater.

Raven quickened her pace once outside, still hearing her heartbeat ringing in her ears. She heard footsteps follow her, and she only quickened her pace.

"Rae!"

Raven didn't want to listen to whoever called her. Not now, not when she didn't know the power this emotion possessed.

"Rae! Slow down"

Raven huffed, feeling the sparks of magic in her fingertips. She snapped around. "God, Beast Boy if you ask me-"

Raven stopped, expecting Beast Boy to run after her, to try to console her. That he would be the one trying to figure out if he had done something wrong, if touching her shoulder was too bold of a move. What she saw was the last person she wanted to see, especially when she had the poison of emotions running through her veins.

The light post flickered.

Robin raised his hands in defense. "Okay Rae calm down...can you tell me what is-"

Raven stopped him. "No, I'm going home." She turned to an alley and walked.

She could hear his footsteps follow her before he tugged at her arm. "Calm down Raven. Look I don't know what Beast Boy did to upset you this time. You normally refrain from making a scene but-"

Raven snapped her arm away from him. "It wasn't him, Boy Blunder."

She could see his eyebrows slide below his sunglasses. "Then what Rae, are you okay? We are supposed to be having fun."

Raven turned away, looking at the dead end. "I know Robin, but maybe it would have been better if you and Star didn't come."

There was the silence and she could hear the gears grind within his head.

"I thought," he stuttered "It would help Beast Boy not screw this up."

Raven stayed silent refusing to look at him.

"Beast Boy is a great guy Raven. I mean he likes you, it's pretty obvious. I thought it was a little out of the left field, I never noticed it before, but I can say his feelings are true. "

Raven folded her arms shivering from the cluster of emotion threatening to swallow her. She looked up praying that he wasn't speaking those words. She didn't need to know how Beast Boy felt, not when the thought twisted something in her stomach.

"Come on Rae." She felt Robin's hand on her shoulder. "You can tell me anything, I thought we were-"

"We were what." Rae spoke turning her head, her voice monotone.

Robin looked at her confused. "Best friends."

Raven sucked in her breath. "Once, that is all I saw you as."

She watched Robin retract his hand.

Raven couldn't stop the words from bursting out of her mouth. "I saw you as someone to look up to. My confidant, you were my hope. Now…" Raven felt the words close to choking her.

"What Raven? What did I do to change that I-" Robin reached for her.

Raven stepped away. "If you don't know Robin then this conversation is mute. " She turned about to levitate before she felt his hand on her arm again.

"Jesus Raven, just tell me what's wrong!" Robin yelled his voice bouncing in the narrow alleyway."This is like when you hid the end of the world from us. Locking yourself in your room, thinking I wouldn't understand. Raven, you be surprised how much I understand!"

Raven looked at him feeling tears brim at the end of her could he understand this? Something stirring within her like some parasite, feeding on everything he gave her. Growing in size until it threatened to burst. She shouldn't have these emotions.

"You don't Robin! You have no idea what you do to me!" She screamed and she felt the earth rumble below her feet.

Raven saw Robin clench his jaw.

"What have I done Raven, how can I fix this! Fix us, I just want it to be normal like we use to be." Robin pleaded.

Raven sucked in her breath. "It can never be the same not since...since the kiss…" she licked her lips "It can never be the same."

She watched Robin drop his hands in defeat.

She shook her head. "What I did was wrong okay? I know that, but it unlocked something in me. Every gesture of kindness, every touch, every goddamn extended glance makes me want you." She waved her hand frantically, unable to stop the flood of emotion.

The dam had broken.

"I can't want you, Robin, I just can't" Raven shook her head. "I can't stand your kindness, and what you did in the movie theater was uncalled for." Raven felt a tear roll down her eye.

Robin frowned "Theater- all I did was- what we-"

"And that's the problem Robin you don't see anything wrong with it. You hold my hand late at night thinking nothing of it." Raven could hear her voice tremble. "You kiss my eyes thinking nothing of it. You've shown yourself to me bare and unguarded and you thought nothing of it!"

Robin frowned and she could see his patience tick away.

"It's because I trust you Raven! I can tell you things, show you things I don't show anyone else!" Robin pulled away his glasses staring at her with the pools of blue. "This is me, not Robin, not the Boy Wonder but Richard!" He huffed pointing to himself. "Richard goddamn Grayson! I show you me, the real me because I felt comfortable with you."

"Too comfortable!" She snapped. "How am I supposed to take this!" She shut her eyes feeling the pull of his eyes like ocean currents. She couldn't fall victim to his eyes, not again.

"You make it seem as though you care about me," she screamed, "the more you expose yourself the deeper I fall!"

"What do you want from me Raven" Robin yelled, his voice strained. "Not to trust you?"

"Stop making me fall for you." Raven yelled her voice hoarse from shouting, she step up to him and pushed him. "Stop looking at me when I'm unguarded," She pushed. "Stop touching me with your hands as though their warmth radiates for me!" She pushed again, but he didn't budge. "Stop saying I'm wonderful!"

She pushed him harder and she felt him grab her hands. "Stop making me feel like I could be loved!"

She felt a rough push, her shoulder slammed against the wall. In seconds, his lips pressed against her. There was no kindness, no nurture at the end of each kiss. Instead, she felt his frustration. It was the fire that fueled the pressure of his lips against hers.

She wanted to stop herself. She wanted to stop them from making the biggest mistake of their lives, but as he pressed against her with all his fury, his rage, his passion, all common sense flew out the window. She wanted his lips, every lick, and bite. She wanted his tone muscles flush against her radiating heat caused by their anger and passion.

She kissed him back for all her worth. Wrapping her arms around his neck pulling him closer. She felt him tug her leg over his hip, his lips feverishly on hers. She wrapped her leg pulling him closer. She felt her own greed, her lust, every heated kiss, the pressure between bodies not enough. The distance between their bodies being _too_ much.

She felt him cling on to her shirt his hands shaking before he pulled away. She huffed out of breath, feeling it mingle with his. She could see his lips tremble, hot and swollen. She couldn't look at him, not after what they done. Not when she knew staring at him unguarded would pull her closer to wrong..

Robin stepped back, his body tense, shoulders raised. He touched his arms to his lips as he watched her. Raven knees buckled, still trying to catch her breath, still trying to figure out what was happening.

"Did I…" Robin stuttered, "hurt you?"

She opened her mouth but the words wouldn't come out. She wanted to tell him the truth; that this kiss hurt her more than anything he had ever done to her. Her body was fine, but she felt more torn than before.

"Rae!"

That voice-

 _It's Beast Boy_ , she panicked.

She watched Robin's eyes double in size, fear laced in every muscle. He knew this was wrong, _they_ knew this was wrong. Robin put on his sunglasses giving a small glance over his shoulder to Raven before looking away. It was his way of wondering if she was okay, but she was far from okay. She couldn't let them see her like this. Her lips swollen, knees weak, and her eyes, gosh she didn't even want to know what volumes they spoke.

Robin turned "Raven we have to-"

Robin only caught the end of it. The black mass closing and fading into the floor shadow.

Raven was gone.

* * *

 **Author Note** : So yeah, Robin is a mess and so is Raven. Thank you for all your lovely comments of keeping people in character! I hope I didn't screw them up on this chapter. Thanks guys for everything! If you have the time, I would love if you guys continued review. Again, thank you so much for all your reviews! I want to hug each and every one of you.


	9. Chapter 9: Guilt

**Author Note:** So here is the next installment.

* * *

There were a lot of things Robin was good at.

Sadly, lying was one of them.

The lie slipped off his tongue so easily. All it took was a casual smile, and a slightly worried tone and no one batted an eyelash.

Because he was Robin. The same Robin who said he would never lie again to his team after the whole Red-X fiasco. The same Robin to hide his identity under a pair of dark shades. The same Robin who refused to mention his name.

Cyborg was Victor Stone, Beast Boy was Garfield Logan, Starfire was Koria'nder, and Raven who had nothing to hide, was just Raven.

No one knew his name.

But they trusted him when he said Raven went back to the tower. It wasn't a complete lie, more of an educated guess to where she teleported to. Beast Boy's with his dropped shoulders, hunched posture and far off stare on the way back home, blamed himself. He clearly thought he did something that ticked off the sensitive empath.

What was worse, Robin let Beast Boy think that, because he was such a good liar. Heck, the lie was so good, he believed it whole car ride back he let himself believe maybe it was Beast Boy who royally fucked up. Beast Boy was the one that made Raven blow two light post bulbs, the one who made Raven yell on top of her lungs at Robin, and the one who made Robin push Raven against the wall and kiss her senseless.

As though the whole fight had nothing to due with Robin's pride, or selfish wish to try to make Raven happy and make her feel the love she deserved.

None of that mattered though. They were back to the game of avoidance, and it only took two days for the tight sensation in his stomach which was guilt, to turn into a burning sensation of fury.

"Cyborg report to me once you have done financial files of that casino. We need to track down the money laundering. The rest have your assignments, get to it" Robin said tapping his papers against the desk.

Everyone nodded slowly as they filtered out of the room. He watched carefully as the last person in the room carefully picked up her things, while neatly placing her meticulous notes inside a folder. Raven stood up, not even gracing him a sideways glance before moving towards the door.

He didn't know went came over him. What made him slide above the table, jump past Raven to block her exit and close the conference door. His hand on the knob he looked over his shoulder watching her stand there, hard lines on her face, eyes in mid roll, while her body tensed in a proper posture.

She stood there like she didn't give a damn.

Licking his lips he turned to her "Did you tell her?"

Raven took a step back, taking a seat on top of the glass table. Crossing her arms over her chest she raised her head high, self righteousness flashing in her eyes.

"That's your job" Raven looked away, unfolding her arms to tap one finger against the glass table. "She is your girlfriend."

Robin sighed pressing his back against the door. He wasn't sure if that was bad or good , he should have told Starfire. He should have told her as soon as Beast Boy went to his room. Instead he burned Starfire's image and essence into his skin, memorizing her soft gasp and moans, as they melted into one. It was desperate attempt to reassure himself that him and Starfire fit so purely and perfectly. That what he and Raven did in the dark alley was a relapse of judgement, and the bulge in his pants was just sexual frustration coaxed by Raven's warm core that rubbed against him. It was only human to be aroused by that, right?

Robin pushed the back of his head against the door to stare at the ceiling. His eyes tracing over the tile hoping some answered oozed out of the ceiling tile. Turning his attention back to Raven he gave her a sideways glance.

"Why did you leave?" Robin asked, his chest puffing in his best intimidating pose.

Raven gave a half shrug "You preferred if I stay-"

"-and help me explain?" Robin cut her off, throwing his head back in exasperation, he couldn't look at her right now. "Yes, that would have been ideal."

Raven narrowed her eyes. "And what needed explaining ?" Raven cocked her head to the side her arms crossed over her chest. "My behavior? Me running in the middle of the street? Or the fact that your had your tongue-"

"-we could have given them the truth." Robin threw his hand up.

"-down my throat."Raven finished

Raven shook her leg, her eyes rolling away from him. "I don't know about you Boy Wonder but, that is the truth."

Robin frowned, pushing himself off from the door. God, sometimes her monotone voice, and nonchalant air frustrated him. Her voice cut like a knife through whatever nonsense he could spill, because Raven was a logical. Unlike him, she never lied, she hid things away from them, but never lied. Could she just pretend for a fraction of a second to be irrational?

Robin rubbed the back of his neck, his shoulders dropping in defeat. She was right though, that was the truth. He was the one who pushed her against the wall viciously, being pushed too many times, feeling something tighten in his chest when she said she couldn't be loved. He was the one who clung to her form, lips ravishing her. He stared down at the floor fingers twitching, why did he always complicate his life?

"Why?"

Robin looked up at Raven, her legs crossed as she leaned to her right, her hand supporting her weight. She was biting her lip, her eyes firm as she tapped on the glass table before she opened her lips and said it again.

"Why?" Raven said, her tapping ceasing before clarifying. "Why did you do it?"

Robin took a step back, crossing his arms over his chest, taking his best defensive the hell was he suppose to explain?

"I don't-"Robin started.

"Wow, Starfire will definitely believe you." Raven gave a frown, rolling her eyes. "Forgiveness will be oozing out of her."

Robin snorted. "What about you and Beast Boy? How will you explain that you were with me when-"

Raven growled, her arms folded as her nails dug into them. "Unlike you Boy Blunder, I don't have any affiliation with someone else. There is no Gar and-"

"It's Gar now, huh?" Robin stomach tighten, when did they get to first name bases?

"You may have started dating _Gar_ ," Robin stepped towards her, head raised up high. "But that doesn't mean he doesn't want to make it a 'us', Raven. You can't deny that-"

Raven jumped from the table, standing right in front of Robin. "Even if he wanted an 'us', even if I told him, it doesn't hold the same connotation as it does with you and Starfire."

"You think so Rae?" Robin gave a small sarcastic laugh. "You think that Beast Boy's feelings are that shallow? Leave it to you to belittle someones feelings like your-"

"Don't you think I realize that!" Raven yelled, fury in her eyes, standing on her toes to stare right at Robin. Robin snapped his mouth shut. "Don't you think I know the magnitude of his feelings?"

Hard lines formed on her face, as Raven tilted her head in a warning. "I'm an empath Robin, not an idiot."

Robin stared down at Raven, looking at her violet eyes, that looked like the dark pits of hell, each muscle in her iris screaming with malice from its depths. It was the first time he ever seen her filled with so much anger and remorse without bringing the whole tower down, and he couldn't help but feel some sort of pride. He poked at all the right things, and got the best of her emotions. She seemed more approachable, more human, and human brought a totally different meaning.

It meant she was attainable.

Robin turned his gaze to the table behind him. He didn't know what to do with this new information. He didn't know why he even cared about this new development.

Without looking at her, he spoke. "This is getting us nowhere."He let out a large sigh. "No matter what we do, they both going to get hurt."

Raven went back down to the flat of her feet with a slight scowl. Seconds ticked by before she opened her mouth.

Her eyes focus to a random corner as she spoke. "What is the protocol for this?"

Robin looked at Raven and couldn't help but give a small smile. "You don't know it Rae? It's in my handbook, Chapter 4, Section 3.2, right after the step by step process on how to complicate your life further."

Raven gave Robin a warning look, but she couldn't hide the mirth in her eyes. "No one reads it Robin. That handbook of yours is as big as your ego."

Robin gave out a slight laugh, before pressing his forehead against Raven's, his eyes glued to the floor. "It wouldn't get so big if you stroked it less."

Raven shook her head against his forehead, staring at the floor between them. There was another moment of silence, before she reached over to his hand, grasping it firmly.

"When did we become so complicated?"Raven muttered just above a whisper "We-"

"Shh"Robin hushed, squeezing her hand tight, turning his head slightly to look at her eyes. "It wasn't your fault I-"

"No, it was. I took your kindness, the feeling for kinship for something-"Raven stopped locking eyes with Robin. "You were-are my best friend Robin."

Robin shook his head in agreement before letting out a huge sigh. "Yeah, well I haven't been the best of friends." He chuckled. "It was just a kiss, it meant nothing, we can move on from that fact. We are still friends."

Raven looked at Robin and there was a flash of something foreign before she said "You are right."

Pressing Raven closer, resting her head on his chest, Robin hummed in confirmation. "Of Course I am. I am the leader after all."

"Your ego is showing Boy Wonder." Raven gave a crooked smile. "Poor Star, Robin inflating his ego to compensate for something he surely is lacking"

Robin clicked his tongue. "Sharp tongue and wit, as always."

Raven pulled away, crossing her arms sheepishly before looking back at Robin. "That doesn't solve the Starfire and Beast Boy situation. They-"

With a tight smirk and raised eyebrow Robin asked "So you do care about Beast Boy?"

Raven gave a small frown in warning.

Robin laughed raising his hands in surrender. "Okay I get it."

Raven sighed. "Like I was saying, they aren't going to think what we did was just a kiss."

Robin frowned "I'll talk to Star. It's my responsibility, I'm the one-but I don't know about Gar. I have no clue what he'll-"

"Star is your responsibility, Gar is mine." Raven shrugged. "We have to face the consequences. Gar will get over it but Star might-"

"It's not just that. It might break up the team."

Raven stiffened, clearly unaware of that possibility. Robin regretted the words flowing out of his mouth. The team breaking up was a bigger deal to Raven. He would miss his friends dearly but he could pick up the pieces again just like before, in another city, even in the Justice League. Cyborg, Beast Boy and Starfire were potential Justice League prospects and due to the size of the spaceship and the global scale operation they potentially could never meet again.

Raven in the other hand would be alone. The Justice League would never accept her. No matter how many heroic acts, no matter how many lives she saved, they wouldn't even give her a would be alone and no way to pick up the pieces.

Robin grabbed on Raven's shoulders. "Rae?"

Raven looked away from him.

Robin clicked his tongue, pushing her chin up with his finger to look at him.

"That is the worst case scenario." Robin put on his most charming smile. "Even if it does happen, you still have me."

Raven rolled her eyes, but there was a slight tug on her lips. "Joy, stuck with the obsessive Titan"

"I'm not obsessive" Robin fretted before Raven gave him a sharp look. "Okay, maybe you are a tinsy bit right on that."

Raven turned her head to the side, her eyes locking with Robin. "Now you are just being ignorant."

Gosh, where they were such a magnificent violet. The way her shoulders slumped with her arms crossed and that sarcastic frown of hers was like a secret handshake. It was the same look she gave when he done something silly, or something ridiculous stupid that it was borderline humorous. Normally he would give her a shrug in return but-

Somehow he ended up with their foreheads touching, his hand cupping her cheek, his lip an inch away from hers as he stared at two surprised violet orbs.

What the hell was he doing?

Raven stepped back from his grasp, turning her head away from him. Robin clenched his hand that recently held her warmth and brought it to his side. He watched as Raven chest rose and shoulders tremble as she released a deep controlled breath.

"Umm-" He started, his mouth moving but no words forming.

She turned to his voice. "Better get going." Raven nodded turning her back to him as she picked up her notes.

"Right" Robin nodded touching his lip, the feeling of what could have been lingering there. "Right"

She turned back at Robin giving him a quick look before running her hands through her hair.

"I have to meditate before talking to Gar." Raven sighed clutching her files. "Emotions are going to run strong."

Robin nodded, stepping to the side to unblock her path.

Raven walked over to the door and Robin just watched as something hitched up his throat. At this moment, her back turned to him, her hand turning the knob, he wanted to say something. He opened his mouth but the words became glued to the roof of his mouth.

Raven turned the knob and left.

* * *

 **Author Note:** Okay guys here is the point of no return. I am struggling with the next chapter but it should be done by next week hopefully. I hope you like the story so far~


	10. Chapter 10: Fix It

**Author Note:** Oh, you still read this? Congrats for making it this far

* * *

He had charm.

He had grace.

But gosh darn it did that all go to hell.

He looked at Starfire from across the conference room table. Her faced lined in confusion looked beautifully foreign on her face. He couldn't blame her. He asked her into the conference room, told her to sit on the opposite side of the table, and then proceeded to open and close his mouth for the last five minutes.

This looked more like an interrogation than a talk. A bad interrogation from a rookie, but an interrogation none the less. Robin let out a heavy sigh as he dropped his head back in defeat. How the hell was he suppose to start this conversation?

"Boyfriend Robin, is there something wrong?" Starfire inquired before she scratched her head. "Did I do something wrong? I know I have been lagging behind in endurance training"

"No!" Robin yelled, wincing at himself for screaming. "No, it isn't about that"

Starfire leaned back on her chair, her eyes wide from his outburst.

Robin bit his inner cheek. Why did he make it seem like this was about something she did?

Robin stared at his bare hands because he couldn't look at her. Looking at all the cracks and calluses, he couldn't find any solace in them. Robin cleared his throat, wringing his hands over trying to find some sort of strength. Finding none, he opened his mouth and hoped Richard Grayson, the dashing socialite, would take over.

"I kissed Raven."

...or not.

Robin pushed his chair back, surprised at his own statement. He glanced up at Starfire, who sat with her mouth agaped. Robin slumped his shoulder, tilting his head to look at a corner. Any second now, she would yell, maybe throw something at him. Robin bit his lip. No, that wasn't Starfire, he just hoped she didn't cry.

Starfire looked away from him for a second, her hands balled into a fist on top of the table. Seconds ticked by before the hard lines on her forehead smoothed over. Tilting her head again, she spoke.

"You already told me this?" Starfire said, raising an eyebrow at Robin.

Robin shook his head, picking the skin off the callus on his hand. "No, this one, this one is new." Robin said with a hard swallow.

Again, Starfire's eyebrows furrowed as she stood there in silence. Gosh, Robin felt like a coward. Staring at his hands and flipping dead skin to a random corner. He couldn't look at Starfire, not when she refused to yell at him. Darn it he wished she would just kick his ass so he didn't have to be hard on himself. If she raised her voice even an octave, it would suffice.

Starfire opened her mouth, closing it quickly only to open it again. He wondered if she got that habit from him.

"I don't understand Earth culture." Starfire started, her hands sliding from the table and over her knees again.

Robin looked up, but said nothing. He watched Starfire as she took a big breath, her eyes slightly illuminating as she stared dead at him. Starfire pushed her seat forward, leaning over the table as she stared at the small crevices of the wooden table. He wondered if it was because she couldn't bare to look at him? He couldn't blame her, he hasn't been able to look at himself.

Starfire spoke slowly, her eyes focused on the table. "I don't understand Earth culture." she repeated. "In my culture we bath in joy, it is where we draw strength. We do not believe in war, our capacity for love greater than our capacity for hate. We know different types of love exist."

Words were fluid, no special Tamaranean vernacular. It was easy to see how hard she was trying to make this easy, make it easy for him to understand. Robin stared at the hard lines on his hands because there wasn't much else he could do.

"I understood." Starfire said, raising her head from the table. "I understood because I thought friend Raven was confused. She has held onto her emotions for so long, maybe she didn't know the difference between similar emotions." Starfire rubbed her arm in an effort to console herself. "I didn't want to stand in the way of her happiness. "

Robin shook his head at the conclusion."You aren't in the-"

"Is it normal in Earth culture for people to court more than one person?" Starfire asked, staring at Robin's form, her eyes wide in anticipation.

Robin licked his lips, trying to find the right words. "For some yes, but I'm not, I'm not normally that type of person."

Starfire nodded.

"Who kissed whom?" Starfire asked, and Robin finally looked up to look at her.

There was no malice in Starfire's face. It was so serene and calm. Too calm, it was almost eerie.

"I kissed her" Robin winced at his own words.

The words felt worse the second time around.

Starfire took a long breath through clenched teeth."When?"

Robin looked away. "When she-she ran from the theater."

Starfire hummed, nodding her head again. Starfire looked away from him as she blinked away the fire in her eyes. "You aren't taking advantage of her?"

Robin stared at Starfire confused. "What? No, I don't-"

"She is trying to figure out her feelings Robin. It wasn't an opening for you to-to" Starfire stood up and banged her hands on top of the table, creating a hole. "ACT LIKE A WORM AND GET INSIDE"

Robin jumped out of his chair, afraid the whole table would be next, or worst, he would be. One look at Starfire was all he needed to know just how angry she was. Eyes illuminated, hands rolled into a fist with two starbolts ready to be aimed at him.

"Star, calm down." Robin pleaded, holding his hands in surrender.

"I can't believe you! She consulted her feelings, you aren't suppose to stray her into-into your arms!" Starfire yelled, throwing a starbolt to the wall near him.

Robin turned around, smelling the faint smell of burnt dry wall. He knew Starfire's aim, and she purposely missed by merely a centimeter. Robin patted his chest trying to push down the utter skin crawling fear running down his veins. Each hair raising to the very thought that black dust in the wall could have been him. Robin turned around, letting out a deep sigh. He had no idea how to explain that scorch mark to Cyborg.

"It isn't like that, Star" Robin huffed. "I wasn't trying to worm myself in!"

Robin bit his cheek, surprised he just yelled.

"Then why Robin? If you aren't trying to court us both then why?" Starfire asked, defusing her starbolts.

"I-I jus-" Robin croaked but he couldn't find a good excuse. "I don't know. It sort of just happened?"

Starfire shoulders visibly slumped. Clearly that wasn't an answer she wanted to hear.

"I do not understand this earth idea of 'just happening'" Starfire answered, hugging herself while not bearing to look at Robin. "Things happen for a reason Robin."

Robin chewed on his lip, rubbing the nape of his neck in thought. He wished there was a reason. He wished he knew why he pushed Raven against the alley wall. The only excuse he could think of was that he was angry, no, he was _livid._

"I don't have a reason." Robin confessed.

Seconds ticked by before Starfire opened her mouth.

"Am I no longer acceptable?" Starfire asked, head twisting slightly away from him.

"Star" Robin pleaded, his voice soft.

This was not going the way he imagined. He had imagined she would be angry. That she would yell at him for being unfaithful. That she would yell strong and hurtful words, few in her native tongue and that would be the end of it. That it would be the end of a _them._

As he watched the rush of emotions run through Starfire, her posture guarded, hands gripping tightly on her elbows, he realized that wasn't Starfire. She was passionate, smart, and fiercely loyal to her look was all he needed to know she was beyond anger, she was in _pain_. Unsure to forgive, unsure to scream, and unsure on who to blame. Her idea of friendship bigger than the pain in her heart.

Starfire looked at the hole on the table. She seemed surprised at her own outburst, awkwardly shuffling to the hunk of wood that laid on the floor. Giving Robin a sheepish look, she grabbed the hunk of wood off the floor. Pressing the piece of wood on the table like some missing jigsaw piece, the hunk of wood proceeded to fall right through. Starfire grabbed the wood again, hands shaking.

Robin looked at the splinters on the floor, as Starfire tried again to place the wood back in place.

"Star leave that alone." Robin reached for her.

Starfire ignored him, pushing the hunk of wood back, only to watch it drop again. Squatting down Starfire picked up the hunk of wood, pressing it close to her chest. She stared at the floor, making no movement to get back up.

"Star." Robin pleaded again, making movement to get closer.

"How do you feel about Raven?" Starfire asked, her voice just above a whisper.

Robin stopped in front of Starfire. He leaned over her, looking at just how hard she was clutching that useless piece of wood. Sweet, beautiful, and intelligent Starfire. She didn't deserve this. Robin looked away, he didn't deserve her.

"She is my best friend." Robin said.

Starfire looked at Robin, tears in her eyes. "That is what you always say. Yet, since Beast Boy started pursuing her, you-"

Robin looked at her surprised. "This has nothing to do with Beast-"

"Yes it does." Starfire interrupted. "Raven will always be someone special to you. So special it was almost criminal to touch her." Starfire gave a saddened smile. "Once someone tried, it knocked off the pedestal you placed under her."

Robin wanted to say something, but he had no idea how to respond to that.

Robin squatted in front of Starfire. He touched her chin, lifting it up to look at him. Fresh tears rolled down her face, her eyes tinted into a darker green. There was few times he ever seen Starfire freely cry in front of him. Her tears were always away from the rest of the team. Maybe she thought they would find her weak. If only she would believe him if he said she was the strongest willed out of all of them. All of them too afraid to cry the tears she shed.

"I-I didn't do that." Robin started. "It isn't like that-"

Starfire smiled, her cheeks twitching from the effort. "You can't even say that with a face that is straight." Starfire sniffled.

"It isn't like that" Robin started again. "I swear it isn't like that"

"Raven has always been your confident. You tell her things you never could tell me." Starfire inquired, her green eyes staring attentively at him. Maybe she was waiting for him to prove her wrong.

Robin pulled his hand away. "Yes but," Robin looked into her eyes reassuringly. "But what I feel for Raven is different to what I feel for you. They aren't the same things"

"They aren't?" Starfire sniffed, rubbing the tears off her eyes.

Robin opened his mouth because he wanted to reassure her. He wanted her to be wrong. That what he felt for Raven was akin to a sister. As much as he tried to force out words that would sooth her fears he couldn't. He wasn't sure if she was wrong anymore. Not when the memory of the alley way, and the almost kiss in this very conference room was in the forefront of his mind. Robin stayed quiet, not sure what to say.

Starfire looked at Robin expecting consoling words, what she got was silence. As their eyes connected, Robin looked away. All the words she wanted to hear were lost in the roof of his mouth.

"I think it wasn't Raven who needed to figure things out." Starfire gave a sad chuckle wiping the last remaining tear."Maybe I was standing in the way more than I thought."

He didn't know what came over him. Maybe it was the tears, or the fact that he couldn't say anything at all, he pulled Starfire close. Wrapping her arms around her tightly, her felt her shudder a breath, squeezing the useless plank of wood against her chest. He felt her cheek rest on his shoulder before a loud clunk resonated in the room.

Pressing her hands against his shoulders, Starfire patted his shoulders. Maybe it was to console him, or maybe it was to release the anxiety she held deep in her chest, she wasn't sure.

"Star, I have no idea what you are thinking right now." Robin chuckled, the vibrations rumbling deep in his chest. "I don't know what's been happening the last few months." He stroked her hair, watching the amber silk slip through his fingers. "But all I know is that you are my girlfriend. That you are the one I choose to be with." Robin hugged her closer.

Starfire hummed, rubbing her cheek against his shoulder. "Things change Robin."

Robin shook his head, burying his face in her hair. "I want us to be the last to change." Robin pulled away, pulling Starfire's chin to stare at him. "Starfire I-"

"Robin, do not say things just to ease the situation." Starfire said, as she let out a sniffle. "It would not be fair for the both of us."

Robin grimaced, unspoken words ready hanging on the tip of his tongue. They were four letters that hung deep inside his heart, something he never thought about uttering to her until now. As Starfire said those words, he wondered just who did those four letter words really belong to.

"We can-, we can fix this Starfire." Robin said, panic evident in his voice. "It was just a kiss. It meant nothing."

Starfire hummed pulling her chin away from his grasp. "Maybe we need time away Robin"

Starfire wiped away her remaining tears, pulling herself up from her squat. She sniffled, nose slightly red from the tears. Looking at Robin through cloudy eyes, she uttered these words:

"So we know what needs to be fixed."

The words resonated with him. Long after Starfire choked down another sob. Long after her footsteps left the room. Long after her footsteps stopped echoing in the hallway.

And _long long afte_ r he realized that this was the end.

* * *

 **Author Note:** I hope it comes out fine. Copy and Paste feature cuts words often. My heart hurt writing this chapter. I hope I gave you the same pain.


	11. Chapter 11: We can Try

**Author Note:** This part of Drown took a really long time because I wasn't sure how Beast Boy would react really. I wanted to show some childish side of Beast Boy with some character growth he may have obtained two years after Tokyo.

 **update:** I had the flashback in italics on tumblr and word but didnt transfer here. Sorry! Also Drown gets updated on my Tumblr first if you want to check it out.

* * *

Raven bit her lip, watching the sun slowly set at the horizon.

She wondered how many times had she sat at the Towers edge, looking at the blinding sun. She didn't know when it happened, but she slowly started seeing the Tower as her home. Raven looked back at the roof entrance door. Why did she have to royally screw up the last bit of family she had with a kiss?

A stupid and impulsive kiss.

Raven touched her lips. She almost forgot the initial kiss that started it all. The whole thing clumsy and ill aligned. All forgotten with the feverish feeling of his lips as he pressed his body against her own in that small alleyway.

The wind picked up.

Raven chanted her mantra in her head, shaking off the scene from her thoughts. This wasn't time to think about Robin. Not when those thoughts hurt the very person that was walking up the roof steps.

"Raven?"

Raven turned, looking at Beast Boy as his posture hunched over, eyes cascaded to the floor. He felt so terrified, so vulnerable.

Raven turned her attention back to the horizon. "Beast Boy, sit with me."

Raven sat at the edge of the Tower's roof, unable to turn her head back to Beast Boy. She heard his footsteps as they kicked up gravel. She watched at the corner of her eye as he sat a foot away from her.

"Beast Boy, I-" Raven started.

"Is this too weird for you?" Beast Boy interrupted her, pulling one leg to his chest. "You know the whole us thing?"

Raven bit the inside of her cheek as she turned her head at him. He wasn't even looking at her. His eyes were staring at the door. His body slightly leaned into a pounce, all too eager to escape.

"That's not what this is about." Raven reassured him.

"You called me Beast Boy. You didn't call me Gar, I thought we moved past that. I-" Beast Boy gave Raven a quick look. "You know you're hard to figure out Rae"

 _She never thought she would be the one to feel a slight pang of fear from something that simulated flight. She held on to the handles with a death grip, eyes shut tight as the roller coaster ran its course. She internally yelled at herself, she couldn't be afraid; if she showed fear, her powers-_

 _Her mind stopped when she heard Beast Boy laugh through the rustle of wind and shrill of screams. Raven opened her eyes, turning her head towards the glamoured up green skinned turned pink boy to her left. Beast Boy held his hands up, laughing from the pits of his stomach. It seemed like the word seemed to stop for a moment, consumed with all his laughter._

 _As though he wasn't preoccupied with the rickety sound of the death trap or the ear splitting shrieks of the man two rows behind them. All that mattered was the moment, the thrill of it all. All consequences be damned._

 _Beast Boy turned to her with a grin ear to ear. All she could do was let go at the bar handle and give a small laugh in return._

 _"That was great!" Beast Boy laughed as they left the roller coaster. "Did you enjoy it?"_

 _Raven shook her head, a small smile playing her lips "Yeah, I guess it was fun."_

 _Beast Boy smile grew larger. "See I told you I would make it up for the whole movie thing." Beast Boy grabbed her hand. "If you like this one, you'll love the next one"_

 _"Hey, slow down Beast-" Raven warned._

 _"Ah, nope. My name is Garfield remember?" Beast Boy laughed, clapping his hands over hers. "People I find special call me Gar" He tilted his head away, averting her gaze._

 _"Gar-" Raven started, ready to speak his full name only to be silenced with Garfield's finger on her lips._

 _"See? Gar sounds just right from your lips." Beast Boy gave a shy smile._

Raven clenched and un-clenched her hand at the memory.

"Maybe I am," Raven said her voice monotone, "sometimes I don't even understand myself."

Beast Boy looked at her bewildered.

"This isn't about the roller coaster, Beast Boy." Raven reassured him, pulling her hood over her head.

"So I didn't screw anything up?"Beast Boy turned to her, shifting a little closer to Raven.

Raven winced. "No, you didn't." Raven turned her body away from him. "It's me"

The words sounded heavy, and Raven waited for them to sink in. Beat Boy let out a laugh.

"Come on Raven, you are-" Beast Boy scouted a little closer, his eyes darting over to her hands. "You are Raven, you may be hard for me to figure you out, and I won't lie your powers still give me a willies but you are so-" Beast Boy grabbed her hand. "-kind and ever willing to put yourself on the line for the people you care about. Don't forget patient, so very patient." Beast Boy gave a boisterous laugh.

Beast Boy smiled. "So if you can be a little more patient with me, we can handle your powers together-"

"It isn't my powers." Raven said, giving Beast Boy a squeeze before letting go. She didn't even turn to him. "When I said: it's me, I didn't mean my powers, I meant I am the one who screwed up this time."

"Huh?" Beast Boy's nose wrinkled in confusion.

Raven let out a breath. Beast Boy was willing to work out her powers for her. Why was she going to hurt his feelings? Why was she about to break his heart? All because she was unable to drown her old feelings for Robin.

"That night at the movie theater,"Raven said, a lump forming on her chest. "When I ran away. It wasn't because you held me. "

Beast Boy stared at her intently, leg shaking in anticipation.

"There this thing me and Robin do sometimes." Raven started, feeling her words catch in her throat. "We link our pinkies together, almost like a promise; that we will always be there for each other. Pretty common for best friend's right?"

She felt a pang of jealously and her body shook, startled by the brief feeling. She didn't dare look towards Beast Boy. He was sure to wear a fake smile.

"But I just couldn't do that anymore, not after-" Raven clenched her hands around the roof rim. "I swear this was before you asked me out, before we ever got involved. I couldn't do something so meaninglessly intimate after I kissed Robin."

Beast Boy was silent. With her powers, Raven tried to sense Beast Boy's feeling. All she felt was a brick wall.

"When I ran, I thought you ran after me but Robin got to me first." Raven gave a small chuckle to the side of her that wished Beast Boy got to her first. "I got angry at Robin. I positively hated him. He stood there, stood there as though that little pinky meant nothing. That every kind word, that our-" Raven licked her lips "-kiss meant nothing. In hindsight maybe it didn't mean anything, but I was just so angry at myself. How did I get carried away? How can anyone love me? I yelled, and screamed my frustration at him that no one could ever really care about me, and next thing I know, Robin was-"

Raven stopped, the words choked up in her throat. She felt Beast Boy move closer, grabbing both her hands in his. He turned her towards him, leaning forward to peek into her hood.

"He what Raven?" He coaxed her to finish.

"Robin kissed me." Raven felt him squeeze her hand. "Robin kissed him, and I let him."

Garfield held on her harder. "He kissed you and you let him?" Garfield scrunched up his face, anger evident with his erect posture. "I thought we were— I thought I had a chance. You lead me-"

Garfield stopped.

"Heck I never know what to think with you," Garfield muttered angrily, "I thought we were doing fine."

One fang hanged as his jaw tensed. "He gave me advice about you. He was setting me up-"

Garfield raised his voice "I thought I caught your attention and Robin just swoops by and-"

Raven felt a pang of hurt.

"It isn't like that Beast Boy. I-" Raven choked down his feeling of anger. "I didn't suspect this. When this started you weren't in the picture. I thought it was over and then at the movies, I just- we just..."

Raven stayed silent, unable to say much more.

"How do you really feel about Robin?" Garfield asked, his voice barely audible.

Raven didn't answer.

Garfield asked again. "Are you in love with him?" He leaned closer.

Raven stayed silent, her hands losing grip.

"Rae?" Garfield said again, pulling her hood off.

Garfield winced, at the very sight. Raven stood there her eyes emotionless and blank as tears fell down her face.

"Your body is betraying you." Garfield whispered, wiping the tear off her cheek. "You trying to stuff your emotions down, but you're crying Rae."

Raven shook her head.

"What, you mean no?" Garfield gave a small laugh. "Come on Rae, you can tell me. Just let go."

"I-" Raven started, her nose scrunching up as more tear fell. "I thought it would be me. We connected, I never let anyone in my mind before Garfield, and-" Raven shook her head, afraid of herself and her emotions.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos." Raven muttered. " God, I-I'm so foolish." Raven pulled her hand away wiping her own tears. "I'm silly aren't I? Starfire and Robin are just the power couple. They were meant to be together ever since she fell from the sky and kissed him."

"It's okay if you feel this way." Garfield said. "Does Starfire know?"

Raven nodded. "Yes, she knows about the first kiss but kind and understanding Starfire said I didn't know the difference between loves. Maybe she is right." Raven wiped the remaining tears, her face again stoic. "Robin's going to tell her about the second kiss."

"How does Robin feel about you?" Garfield asked.

"I don't know," Raven said, "It was just a mistake; we agreed that the whole thing was a mistake."

"Do you?" Garfield asked again.

Raven stared into Garfield, with his shoulders slumped, eyes wide and attentive. She had no clue what he wanted to hear. She had no clue how she even felt.

There was silence until Garfield broke it.

"Do you still feel strongly for Robin?" Garfield asked.

"I-" Raven started. It would be foolish of her to think this would be a happy ending. Think that Robin had or even once had the same feelings she has. Raven bit her cheek, no, feelings she had. Past tense, her feelings were pushed into the bottom of the ocean to drown, as soon as they arrived from Tokyo.

There was no room for jealousy, or feeling of unrequited love. She had people to save and the last remnant of a family to keep.

"Not anymore." Raven squeezed. "It's what I once felt. Robin has Starfire, and I-"

"You have me." Garfield smiled. "I mean, if you'll have me. I'm no Robin, I think green tights on green skin is a little too much."

Raven gave him a small smile. "You don't need to be Robin, Beast Boy."

Beast Boy gave a boyish grin. "That's good because I can morph into any animal but that one."

They stood silent, Beast Boy loosening his grip on Raven's hand.

"Can I-" Beast Boy licked his lips. "Can I kiss you?"

Raven winced in shock.

"I won't lie, I'm a little jealous." Beast Boy leaned forward, cupping his hand on Raven's cheek. "I want to wash away Robin's scent." Beast Boy leaned in for the kiss.

Maybe it was the scent of rose water at the tip of her tongue. The overwhelming feeling of desire that filled up all her senses but she leaned in, rose water mixing with the taste of tears.

The kiss was sweet, soft and gentle, unlike the heated and rough kiss within the alley way she shared with Robin. Garfield didn't have the scars on his lips that provided some texture. Garfield didn't have the rough callouses she became so accustomed too.

Garfield wasn't Robin.

Why did that thought hurt so much? Why was she doing this to Garfield?

Raven pulled away, pressing her forehead against Garfield's. She watched through lidded eyes how his face stretched to new volumes. He leaned in again for another kiss.

Raven pulled away.

"I can't do this to you Beast Boy."

Beast Boy looked at her shocked. His hand dropping to his lap. "What do you mean?"

"There too many things going on and-" Raven stood up, pulling her hood back on her head. "This just isn't right. I can't drag you along when this whole Robin thing is still going on. It wouldn't be right of me."

Garfield stood up. "Raven this whole thing will blow over and-"

Raven shook her head. "I don't know Garfield. Robin, Starfire and I need to figure out this mess. I can't drag someone else into this. It' already too complicated, I just-"

Raven walked to the roof exit and Beast Boy held on to her wrist.

"Raven, please don't leave. Not now" Beast Boy pleaded.

Raven pulled away, hovering herself over the roof top. "It's for your own good Garfield. Forget about me before it's too late."

Raven said, a black portal forming behind her. She phased through, disappearing without a trace.

"It's already too late." Beast Boy muttered to the empty space she left behind.

* * *

 **Author Note:** Please don't kill me. Please tell me how I did with Beast Boy's characterization. I hope I didn't mess up his response. I was really scared writing this part. Thank you guys for all your kind replies! I am happy you enjoy the story. Sorry for all the error and typos.

As always R&R


	12. Chapter 12: Repercussions

**Author Note:** This is the longest chapter I have ever written. I hope you enjoy.

* * *

"An inconspicuous amount of money has been running through the casino. No large transaction ever done from one customer. However, that is the suspicious part of this high profile-"

Robin never thought he be the one spacing out during a debriefing. As Cyborg pointed out numbers and graphs on the monitoring he couldn't pay attention to any of it. He eyes kept wandering towards Starfire, a sick sense of regret deep in his chest. Starfire had her head leaning to her side, green eyes constantly blinking just to ward away sleep. He wondered if she was sleeping okay lately? Had she-

No, Robin told himself, if he cared too much, it would only hurt more. As much as he hated to admit it, it was over between him and Starfire. That meant he had to learn to care a little less about her for both their sakes. That meant being a lot less observant about Starfire's well being. Robin gave Raven a quick look. Raven had her arm propped on the conference table, eyes in some far off world. Isn't caring a little too much what got him into this situation in the first place?

As he looked away from Raven, Robin tensed, sensing someone staring straight at him. Robin erected his posture from the chair and gave a quick glance to his right. As their eyes connected, Beast Boy frown only deepened. As they continued their staring contest, Beast Boy raised his shoulders as he crossed his arms and slowly sunk himself into the chair. Even the small pout on Beast Boy face looked like it would kill Robin. Robin scraped his knuckles against the conference table as he looked away, hoping it would go away.

The deadly feeling didn't cease.

"Robin?" Cyborg called out.

Robin shuffled his papers, taking a second to clear his throat "There are account strings for normal O&M. However, there are some duds," Robin heard Beast Boy mutter something under his breath but Robin ignored it. "Some accounts fill up with money and either disappear or are capped and never used. I checked if the money is sent to off shore accounts ,but it just lead me to dead ends."

"Big brain, much wow." Beast Boy mocked, rolling his eyes and blowing a stray hair from his face.

Robin ignored him, noticing the rest of the team didn't seem to hear him. "If I can gain access to their main computer, I can probably find where the money is going."

"Or go to a casino to play playboy bachelor to gain _access_ into as many legs as possible." Beast Boy muttered, leaning over the table to prop his head up with his hand. He gave Robin a sideways glance, knowing full well that Robin heard his words.

Robin tried to contain his facial expression, trying not to gawk at Beast Boy. Judging from Beast Boy comments, Raven told Beast Boy. Raven told Beast Boy all the nitty gritty details. Knowing Raven, she probably mentioned the kiss before Beast Boy even got involved in this mess. He wouldn't put it past Raven to call the whole 'dating' thing off. Something Beast Boy probably considered to be Robin's fault.

Beast Boy probably misunderstood what was going on between Raven and him. Anger was not far from the list of things Robin expected Beast Boy to feel. He just didn't expect the resident jokester to look at him with an emotion that resembled hatred.

Without looking at Raven, Robin knew Raven felt the emotion radiating from Beast Boy. The feeling of complete and utter disdain. There was something uncomfortable about her posture when he looked at her before, a little too straight, a little too caught up in her own world. But of course Raven did what Raven did best, ignore the feeling. As an empath dwelling on others feelings was not an option. Robin clenched his hand, before staring back at the presentation.

"I suggest we infiltrate the casino, and figure out where the money is originally coming from. Robin?" Cyborg asked.

A little startled from his name being called, Robin nodded, shuffling his papers into a folder. "We will send two people to the casino. Give me two days to form a proper plan."

Everyone nodded-except Beast Boy who continued to try to bore holes into Robin's skull- and gathered their respective materials. Raven gave Robin a quick glance, something he registered as pity and loneliness. Robin looked away, feeling his stomach heat up. He didn't have to say anything and Raven already knew that things ended with Starfire. Was he radiating his feelings so vividly or was it their bond? Robin continued to watch Raven gather her thing from the corner of his eye, unable to help but think it was something marvelous and extremely dangerous how Raven can figure out everything that was wrong with him with just a look. His secrets never stayed secrets for too long when it came to Raven. How he kept his real name a secret for so long, only to blurt it out in a dark alley during their _heated_ argument was beyond him.

He wondered if Raven even remembered that he had told her. That she held just a little more power over him.

Starfire who watched the small, almost insignificant exchange, between Robin and Raven, gathered her things quickly. Right now watching the two resident birds glance towards each other, was a little too much. Starfire didn't want a reminder that there was a special connection between Raven and Robin.

As his teammates left, Robin stood up from the table. Rubbing his sore eyes, slouching a little more than usual, he let out a yawn. He had to figure out a plan for a case that he wasn't paying attention to during debriefing. Robin let out a small sigh knowing there was a long night to come.

Moving towards the door he saw Beast Boy leaning against the only exit, arms and legs crossed, as his eyebrows furrowed into a scowl.

"Robin we need to talk." Beast Boy called out, eyes quickly darting to the floor before staring back the Boy Wonder.

Robin held his breath. "Beast Boy can this wait?" Robin started walking past him. "I have-"

Beast Boy grabbed onto Robin's forearm, holding tight. "I think you have time for your teammates right, _Leader_?"

The word leader had never sounded so twisted and venomous before. Beast Boy let go of Robin's bicep, red marks fading from Robin's skin. Robin turned back to Beast Boy, placing his files back against the table. Beast Boy a little too aware where this conversation may lead to, pressed the door button, closing their conversation to prying ears.

The scowl on Beast Boy was so foreign, unusual from his normal smiling self. Beast Boy continue to lean against the only exit, almost protectively. If Robin was thinking of escaping from their 'talk' those hopes were crushed, knowing he couldn't out run Beast Boy. Especially if Beast Boy was guarding the only way out.

"So Raven?" Beast Boy started, his voice a little deeper than Robin remembered.

Robin winced, of course he wanted to talk about Raven. Robin wished Beast Boy would just punch him and get this over with. Taking a second to gather courage Robin crossed his arms in a similar stance. He told himself he had to prepare himself for the storm that was about to come.

"Yeah Raven." Robin answered.

He watched as Beast Boy stood straight, muscles bulging as he tensed. There was a rough snarl that echoed as Beast Boy looked at Robin. "You knew how I felt about Raven. You knew and you played me"

Played him might be a harsh way of saying it, Robin thought. Beast Boy was right, Robin did know. Robin knew that Beast Boy started having feelings far beyond friendship towards Raven before Beast Boy had the courage to ask Raven on a date. The small glances towards Raven, the small smiles that grew every time Beast Boy laid eyes on Raven. Robin had acknowledge all of it, but decided to ignore it. There was some silly part of him that thought Beats Boy's crush wouldn't get far. That the crush would wane eventually. The other part wondered why he even cared in the first place? Robin dug his nails in his forearm.

"I didn't play you Beast Boy," Robin answered, "You asked me for advice and I gave it to you.I told you exactly what Raven liked. "

Beast Boy shook his head. "You gave me advice, knowing this whole mess was still unraveling." Beast Boy said, tipping his head up, glaring down at the slightly shorter Titan.

"Yeah I knew." Robin agreed. "I just hoped, that the situation would eventually fix itself." Robin sighed, dejected.

Beast Boy walked to Robin, stepping into his personal space. "You cheered me on like I was a fool. When you knew Raven had feelings for you." Beast Boy pointed an accusing finger at him.

Robin sighed, hopping onto the conference table. " Raven does not have feelings for me. The thing that happened between Raven and I was a mistake." Robin grabbed the edge of the table. "I cheered you on because I thought you be good for her. I still do. The thing in the alleyway-"

"You kissed her Robin when Starfire, your girlfriend may I add, and I were out looking for both of you!" Beast Boy yelled.

Robin winced at his words, turning his gaze to the floor. He wanted to look at anything other than Beast Boy. "It was a slip of judgement, it won't happen again." Robin instinctively wiped his lips with his forearm. " Raven and I talked, and there isn't some lingering feelings between us. We told you both because we wanted to be honest. Raven does not feel for me the way you think she does."

Robin looked up hoping his words would ease the tension. He watched as Beast Boy nose wrinkled, his face slowly turning red with anger. Beast Boy leaned a little closer, giving the Boy Wonder a push. Robin leaned back, the table scraping against the floor from the force.

"You arrogant-"

Beast Boy stopped. Biting back his sour words, Beast Boys crossed her forearms trying to hold himself at bay. "No," he said, "this is not why I want to talk to you about."

Robin looked at him confused.

"This isn't a silly battle," Beast Boy sighed, digging his claws into his forearms. "I just want to say Robin, we aren't kids anymore."

Robin had no response to that.

"We aren't kids anymore." Beast Boy repeated. "Sometimes we have to make hard choices." Beast Boy looked away unable to look at his _leader_ any longer. "Don't drag along two girls just because you can't make a decision."

Something about that comment really made Robin angry.

"You mean Raven and Starfire?" Jumping off the conference table, he stood toe to toe with Beast Boy. "I'm not dragging anyone along, Starfire dumped me and Raven, she-her and I decided that it was a fluke. We aren't romantically involved."

"You don't see it do you?" Beast Boy looked at him annoyed.

Beast Boy took one step back, slouching forward as a growl escaped his lips. "I thought that too. I was willing to look past this whole mess. I was willing to forgive you. But-but" Beast Boy stuttered, shaking his head in annoyance. "Raven might-"

Beast Boy turned slightly away from Robin."You aren't romantically involved but Raven, she cares for you far beyond friendship, far beyond this 'bond.'" Beast Boy raised his hand in air quotes. "If you don't see that then maybe you don't deserve her." Beast Boy tried hard to bite back the harsh tone but it came out.

Robin frowned clicking his tongue in annoyance. "We aren't in that type of relationship!" Robin yelled. He should be more in control of the situation but the accusations were getting to him.

"But don't you think Raven wishes you were in that type of relationship?!" Beast Boy screamed. "I don't know if that mask of yours makes you damn blind to the things happening around you, but Raven isn't the type 'accidentally' kiss someone." Beast Boy voice raised higher, hands moving as he talked. "She is calculating, weighs the consequences to everything! It was either her feelings or yours that she was high off of. You out of all people should know that! " Beast Boy took a large breath, before pushing Robin again.

"Your kiss may have been some accident but hers may have not been. There is some underlying feelings. It may be lust or _something else_ that either of you are feeling. And I will be darned if I let you string Raven along if you are acting out of lust while Raven is hoping for the latter." Beast Boy leaned closer, teeth bearing out at Robin.

Robin stood unwavered, anger etched on every muscle. However, Robin had nothing to say in return.

Beast Boy nostrils flared. "I be darned if you felt that 'something else' and projected them onto Raven through that 'bond' to fulfill some selfish desire when you know it would break Starfire's heart!" Beast Boy yelled so loudly, Robin was happy that the conference room was sound proof. "You choose between them Robin long ago and you have to live with the repercussions!"

Robin looked at him completely flabbergasted. Chose between them? No, that would mean that both Starfire and Raven had feeling for him before Tokyo. He always thought it was him and Starfire dancing around each other ever since she fell from the sky and kissed him. It was Starfire he always had his eyes on. Raven and him were bonded yes but, he would know if she had feelings for him through that bond. If Raven had feelings for him back then, it would mean that he had broken her heart. Something he sought out to never happen to her again after Malchior. That would mean-

The tip of Robin's ears suddenly felt hot, as he clenched his fist.

"What the hell are you saying!" Robin screamed giving Beast Boy a push back, Beast Boy didn't move. "Don't let your jealousy cloud up the past! Raven never had feelings for me the way you imagined, not now and sure as hell not then. She cheered me on when me and Starfire were dancing around each other, Raven was the one-"

"You are so freakin' daft!" Beast Boy screamed. "Everyone saw it! Heck, even Starfire knew! Raven liked you before the whole apocalypse, and you kept feeding unto her hopes. With every glance and every kind word.I was there when you searched high and low for her. I was there when you hugged her when she emerged victorious from fighting her father. You two acting like we weren't there, off in your own little world! I was there when you feed her kind words on the rooftop, when you said she was your strength. Even I thought there was some inner meaning to those words!" Beast Boy huffed, his face scrunched up with so much emotional pain.

"That-that doesn't mean anything!" Robin said, hearing the uneasiness of his own voice.

Beast Boy poked at Robin's chest. "When Tokyo rolled around, you chose Starfire over her! I know Raven hoped that even if Starfire seemed like a natural choice for you in everyone's eyes, that it would choose her at the end!"

This wasn't a 'choice', Robin thought. It had always been just Starfire. "You don't know what you are talking about!"

Beast Boy grabbed his own hair out of frustration. "Damn it, I even fell for her watching her watch you!" Beast Boy snarled at Robin "Because I couldn't believe Ms. No Fun could hold so much compassion in her eyes. I found myself wanting her to feel some semblance of happiness she wished she had with you and thinking that maybe, just maybe, I could fill that role! After Tokyo, I thought she got over it, we all thought she was over it. I waited two freaking years when I thought there was no possible way you still filled her heart to ask her out. Only to find out yesterday on the very rooftop I feel in love with her, that you were still in there like a fucking tumor!"

Robin stood still, his mouth agape. There was a sickly sense of numbness that filled him. He couldn't feel his face, or hear the sound of his own heart beating out of his chest.

"Maybe you don't have the same presence you had before in her heart. Maybe it isn't her feelings for you that are resurfacing. Maybe it is just you projecting your fantasy on her, thinking that you can have her just because you got bored with Starfire," Beast Boy screamed his voice loud and booming within the conference room, "but don't give Raven that hope! Don't kiss her in an alleyway because you think someone is going to take her attention away from you!"

Robin face paled. That wasn't how it was, was it? Raven always seemed untouchable to him. The idea of a relationship with Raven never occurred to him because, well, she was an empath. Wouldn't that be a burden to her? Wouldn't his feelings weigh heavily on her, when she had to be in constant control of herself? Raven wanted control, that meant she wouldn't want him.

 _Wait,_ what was he thinking?

A relationship with Raven? In the deepest corner of his mind he realized he had thought about it. He had thought about being with Raven in a romantic sense but, he couldn't bring that inconvenience into her life. A decision he made on his own. He saw her as untouchable due to her powers, so surely others will come to the same conclusion. So he just relished in the feeling that Raven and him were connected in ways others couldn't understand. Something no one else could possibly have. Was he such a spoiled brat that he would think that no one would ever pursue Raven? No, he knew Raven was wonderful, it would make sense that someone would pursue her. Robin just hoped that Raven would ignore the sentiment.

"Don't accuse me of things just because Raven dumped you before your relationship even started!" Robin screamed, pointing an accusing finger towards Beast Boy. "I care for Starfire. Heck I loved Starfire and still in love with her, something I wasn't able to say before she dumped me."

"You love Starfire, but you kissed Raven in the alleyway?" Beast Boy snorted, folding his arms across his chest. "Stop putting on airs!" Beast Boy yelled, his eyes narrowing as he came to a realization.

"You are so freakin' obvious" Beast Boy shouted, his body shaking. "You just can't stand Raven being happy without you. You carved this whole best friend thing, and hoped that no one pursued Raven because of her powers because you were too afraid to!" Beast Boy pointed at him. "You hoped everyone was just a big a coward as you! Maybe that feeling never developed to be love. But I know you pretty darn well Robin, and there was some sick sens of pride to know that you had Raven all to yourself!"

Robin took a big breath, he didn't care if Beast Boy didn't believe him. It was true, he still loved Starfire. Starfire was like the sun to him but Raven had become an existence he couldn't live without.

But was he as selfish at Beast Boy claimed? Was he so goddamn selfish that someone viewing Raven as a romantic interest, willing to work around her powers when he disclosed the idea as an impossibility, made him angry, bitter and _jealous._ Jealous because he had giving up pursuing something romantic with Raven. Jealous because someone having a true serious relationship with Raven would push him away from the carefully carved out space in her heart he placed himself in.

He knew frustration was what led him to kiss Raven. But maybe he was frustrated because the feeling he had buried deep deep inside and forgotten about, resurfaced with that kiss. Because it made him think Raven wanted him, something he told himself over and over couldn't and would never happen. Frustrated because she yelled that she couldn't be loved, knowing that one of the people looking for her loved her in ways he couldn't.

Robin grabbed his face, holding down his astonishment. _Loved her in ways he couldn't?_

 _I'm scum,_ Robin thought, _pure and utter scu_ m.

"I care for Starfire." Robin pulled down his hand, letting out a controlled breath. "Your words won't change that fact nor will they changed the fact that you were dumped by Raven. Stop trying to take it out on me!"

Robin folded his arms protectively, glaring down the green Titan, "Maybe you are right, the feelings I had for Raven that I buried long ago, because I didn't think it would work out between us, resurfaced because of you. Maybe I was jealous that you took your chances when I was too afraid to," Robin admitted, "but that what it is, they are just old-"

The folder he had carefully placed on the table, slide forward across the table cutting his words short. Robin watched the papers scattered between them like a flurry of snow. Robin stopped, finally hearing his heart beating within his chest. Right before they fell, Robin caught a small pop of black aura. Looking off to the right corner of the conference room, he watched Raven stand there holding a folder tightly in her hands.

"It was locked." Raven said, her face expressionless, but no one could dismiss the quiver in her lip. "I forgot the account numbers sheet." Raven said, casually passing by them, quickly picking up a sheet of paper before disappearing in a shadow.

Robin gawked, knowing full well that Raven heard his last lines. He just admitted these things to himself, and now Raven knew. This whole thing was messed up.

"Fuck" Beast Boy broke the silence. "Shit, how much did she hear? Shit" Beast Boy rubbed his face out of embarrassment.

Beast Boy banged against the door lock, quickly turning around the corner. Whatever argument they were having was lost in the frantic look in Beast Boy face.

"Raven, wait!" Beast Boy yelled, the door sliding behind him as he ran after her.

* * *

"Raven!" Beast Boy hollered, banging on Raven's bedroom door.

He had watched the empath run through the hall, probably a little too emotional to use her powers, and straight into her room. No matter how loud he called out to her, and begged her to stop running, she propelled herself forward ignoring his cries.

Beast Boy banged the door harder, not caring two shits who heard him. He grimaced at the nature of his being. Why was he so damn passionate about everything, wearing his heart on his sleeve? Why couldn't he shut his damn trap for once? Robin didn't need to know his feelings for Raven.

Yelling at Robin was not how he wanted Raven to know.

"Hey come on, open up." Beast stopped banging, grabbing both side of the door fixture. "How-how much did you hear?"

Beast Boy waited a response but heard none.

"Please, let's just talk about this, okay?" Beast Boy sighed, tapping his forehead against the door. "Look I know I'm stupid, dumb and a complete imbecile sometimes. I let my mouth run off farther than I can catch it, but this is not how I wanted you to know."

Beats Boy heard rustling inside the bedroom. That was a good sign. At least he wasn't talking to a empty room.

"Look I get it, you may not want _me_. "Beast Boy winced, clenching the door side a little tighter. "But at least let me tell you things properly. " Beast Boy licked his lips, feeling someone just against the door. "Give me the some closure."

He heard a small tap from the other side, and Beast Boy could almost feel the warmth of Raven's body pressed against the door. Waiting a few seconds in hopes she open the door he listened intently. He heard Raven give out a shallow breath, a little hitch in it. Crap, she had been crying. She had been crying and she was trying to contain it.

He only thought of one way to cheer her up. He sang, running his stupid mouth that got him into this mess in the first place.

Beast Boy licked his lips. "Would you like to build a Snowman?"

" Doesn't have to be a snowman. Come on let's go out and play" Beast Boy whispered against the door, he be damned if anyone else heard him sing a song from Frozen. "I never see you anymore, come out the door."

He heard stirring and he couldn't help but smile. He pressed a side of his face against the door. "It's like you gone away…"

The door opened, Beast Boy stumbling a little forward. Raven looked up at him, a small frown gracing her features. No evidence that she was ever crying. He wondered if that was a skill she had mastered.

"Go away." Raven said, her voice low and monotonous.

"Ah, a little early in the song Raven. There was two more verses." Beast Boy gave a small grin, standing straight and leaning against the door.

Raven scowled. "Okay, bye" Raven said pressing the sliding door handle.

Beast Boy stuck out his foot watching the door open again. Thank you safety features. "Look can I at least explain myself? You got a guy out here singing songs from Frozen."

"I don't know why that matters" Raven shrugged. "You love Frozen."

"Yeah" Beast Boy rolled his eyes "But it's also like a two year old meme."

Raven gave a defeated sigh. Her eyes rolled to him in contemplation, before motioning him inside. Beast Boy beamed, it was rare for her to invite anyone into her room, unless it was Robin. Nope, not thinking about Robin right now. Raven inviting _him_ , not Robin.

The door slid behind him while Raven turned on the lights. Nothing changed since the last time he was here. Beast Boy eyes fell on hand mirror, reminding himself not to touch anything in her room. Beast Boy folded his hands behind his back, trying to wean away temptation.

His back turned to her he could feel Raven starring at him. Not wanting to start the conversation Beast Boy looked around at the odd trinkets. Books that littered the floor, daggers, cloaks, and jewelry he never seen her wear. There was a silent realization that those particular pieces of jewelry are never meant to be worn.

"Are you going to stand there until you grow roots or are you going to talk." Raven said, heavy sarcasm edged in her voice.

It was _cute_.

Beats Boy bit his cheek, turning around to look at her. _Dangerous thoughts Gar, dangerous thoughts._

"Nice stuff-"

"Garfield-"

"I don't know why you have so many cloaks when you only wear-"

"Garfield-"

"-One and you look really nice in blue-"

"Gar!" Raven raised her voice. Beast Boy closed his mouth with a snap. "Please just say what you wanted to-"

"How much did you hear?" Beast Boy said letting out a large breath.

Raven moved passed Garfield, a small quirk on her lip as she walked to her vanity mirror. "It doesn't matter." Raven said grabbing her hand mirror and placing it inside the cabinet.

Beast Boy frowned. "Raven, how much did you hear?"

Raven slammed her cabinet drawer. "Enough."

"Enough?" Beast Boy raised an eyebrow. "I will sing the My Little Pony theme song on the top of my lungs until you tell me."

"Gar, don't be-"

"MY LITTLE PONY, MY LITTTLE PONY, MYYYYY LITTLE PONY!" Beast Boy took a large breath, shouting louder " I USED TO WONDER WHAT-"

"Fine." Raven crossed her arms across her chest un-amused. She let out a sigh. "Ever since you made me realize how painfully aware everyone was to my crush on Robin."

Beast Boy winced, she was there longer than he thought. He had forgotten just how quiet the resident empath could be. That was why Robin always picked her for covert missions. She can blend into any atmosphere, any _shadow_.

"I'm sorry, I really am. But that man was running around with _blinds_ on." Beast Boy rubbed the side of his face. "I'm surprised he didn't know sooner since you guys been sucking fac-"

"Gar" Raven warned, her face furrowing.

"Okay, I get it uncalled for." He dropped his shoulders in defeat. "But can you blame me? Now that you know how I feel, how long I _felt_. "

Raven looked at her vanity mirror the frown disappearing. She walked passed Garfield again, her hands skimming against the binding of her books. "You never hinted it until now. You always said I was creepy. That my powers were too creepy."

Garfield tensed, remembering when he said that. He knew those words stung deeper than the empath cared to admit. He was young and foolish, and frankly spoke before his brain could process anything. That was one of the many things he had contemplated about for two years before pursuing Raven.

Just how much his childish actions may have hurt her.

"I wasn't very bright back then." Beast Boy admitted. "I was a sheltered boy, who followed a group of superheroes who moralities were pretty skewed. I didn't really know how to talk to people without being too blunt. I never considering other people's feelings."

Raven hummed in response, standing on her toes to reach the book she was looking for. Raven started flipping through pages.

"I wasn't kidding." Beast Boy said, pushing his feet together, leaning a little forward to look at his feet. "I mean it when I said that-that I-you know."

Raven didn't pay attention. She continued to flip through pages.

"I love you!" Beat Boy said a little louder than he intended, raising his head to look at her.

Raven stopped, her hand resting on a page, astonishment evident in her face.

"I know I already got rejected on the rooftop. I know you might still like Robin." Beast Boy watched Raven wince. "But I just-just had to let you know. You never properly told me where I stood. You just said to forget about you and it's-it's hard."

Raven looked at Beast Boy only for her eyes to flick down at her book, fingers grazing against the words.

"Pretty silly huh?" Beast Boy said defeated, his shoulders dropping. She may have been listening but she wasn't paying attention.

"Two years?" Raven asked staring back at Beast Boy. "You have been in love with me for two years?"

Beast Boy gave a weak smile. "Now that you say it, it sounds pretty pathetic, huh?"

"I just thought, you hated me this whole time." Raven said, book firm in her hands as she stepped in front of Beast Boy.

"I-" Beast Boy swallowed, "I never hated you. I just never knew the right things to say. I was silly and clumsy and you were just _you._ You had little patience for someone like me. Ever since Terra, I thought I should be cautious. I didn't-"

"-Want to get your heart broken again." Raven ended his sentence, placing her hand gently on Beast Boy cheek. "I get it, I really do."

Beat Boy couldn't help but lean into her touch, nuzzling his cheek into her soft warm hand. Beast Boy noted that it was a little bit cruel for her to touch him so soon, her rejection still fresh in his memory. However, there was a small feeling in his chest that relished in the feeling, a spark a hope that he could still win her over.

"I'll make the pain go away." Raven whispered, her fingers brushing against his cheek before pressing lightly on his head.

Beast Boy eyes flew open. "Wait-"

"Recordabor memoriae-"

"You don't have to do-"

"Desdisco, Cor-"

Beast Boy grabbed her hand trying to pull Raven's hand from his forehead. She was always physically stronger than him, as long as he stayed human. Somehow he found the strength, pulling Raven fingers from his head. He watched as Raven's face contorted into shock.

"Raven please"

There was a moment of contemplation in her eyes. A sense of regret, before it was wiped clean. The emotion stuffed deep away, her voice again monotone.

"Corrigo,Inscri -"

He leaned over Raven, eyes fluttering shut as he struggled to stay awake. He gave Raven a quick look, feeling it may be the last time he will see her. The last time he will see her in the same light.

"I'm sorry."

"-Inscribo, meum est verum-"

Beast Boy never heard the end of it, his mind going black, black filling his senses. He stumbled forward, Raven catching him in her arms as he fell into slumber.

* * *

 **Author Note:** Thank you guys for being to patient! I was able to put in some time into this since I just finished Leading the Blind.

Here is the rough translation of Raven's spell:

Remember the memory, unlearn/forget, correct (to make correct), Write, my own truth.

So Raven is basically erasing the memory that made Beast Boy like her. Then she is rewriting the emotions and memories from the last two years, so it doesn't seem like he has been pinning after her for those two years. So essentially erasing all admiration, love, and feelings Beast Boy may have had.

Tell me what you think! I know the writing is still rough around the edges. Also, I made everyone an asshole. Except maybe Starfire, but even then that depends how you interrupted the last couple of chapters.

A WILD PLOT WILL APPEAR NEXT CHAPTER, we will finally see some action. For now please enjoy!


	13. Chapter 13

**Author Note** : Sorry for the long wait. Alot of things have been happening with life. Also kudos to Ophelia'song for going ahead and editing this mess. All the tenses and awful language. Honestly this would have been a cluster fuck without her. Thank you!

* * *

Beast Boy should have woken up early that morning just to finish their ' _conversation'_. Raven, should have been avoiding Robin _again,_ and with good reason. Robin had admitted his feelings, past and present. That alone could have broken their current truce.

However, today was the most peaceful the Tower had been in the last couple of months. As peaceful as it could be given the current situation. Even if Starfire's eyes always wandered towards Robin, only for her to notice her mistake and quickly look away. Which worked wonders on his guilt.

In retrospect, Robin couldn't blame Starfire. If he had 20/20 hindsight, he would have never pursued her in the first place. Yes he loved Starfire. He would always love Starfire, something he was painfully aware of. Yet he found those feelings selfish and obscene. Selfish because even though he cared about her, he couldn't help but want Raven's attention. An issue that even the growing presence of the Tamarian in his heart just couldn't snuff out.

Robin sighed, looking away from the kitchen counter. Starfire had left in a hurry after finishing her breakfast. Cyborg walked in moments later after her departure and had started his meat filled breakfast. Taking a sip of his morning coffee at the couch, he thanked his lucky stars. He was at least fortunate that all the people involved had done a fantastic job keeping Cyborg in the dark. The overprotective Titan was the last bridge Robin wanted to cross.

That was the only silver lining in this situation.

Even if there was this so called peace, Beast Boy's behavior, he couldn't help but find this to be an _anomaly._ Maybe he was a bit paranoid (an emotion he'd become famous for) because there wasn't even a spark of discontent from the resident jokester. He watched as Beast Boy walked into the living room, got himself a box of super sugary cereal and said nothing but a ' _Hey Robin'._ At least Beast Boy's death glare was a welcomed subtraction to the situation. Robin presumed he should be more worried about Raven. She hadn't even woken up yet, or left her room.

Her absence was pretty normal. Well it used to be up until two years ago.

All his thoughts ceased when he heard the small patter of footsteps. Robin looked behind him towards the hallway to watch Raven enter her room. On instinct, his eyes shifted towards Beast Boy, awaiting his reaction. Any slight hint of body language that might show the changeling's discomfort.

Robin watched in silence from the living room couch as Beast Boy slapped his hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter while Raven walked behind him. She opened the cupboard doors without even a sideways glance to the green fella. The green jokester continued eating, as though the elephant in the room wasn't standing behind him. Robin couldn't help but find the whole interaction _weird_.

"Rae Rae" Beast Boy called out.

Robin tensed at the sound of Beast Boy's voice. He held his coffee mug tighter as he watched Raven turn to Beast Boy in mild interest. Robin watched her demeanor, the hood of her cloak was up, covering half her face, her sluggish posture and the small twitch of her lips as she tried not to yawn.

 _Late night?,_ the Boy Wonder thought, _no, that never bothered her before._

 _Emotions_ , Robin put his bet on emotions.

"Me and Cyborg are going to play stankball," Beast Boy gulped down the almond milk of his cereal. " You want to referee?"

Raven looked at him for a minute with a hint of interest before she shook her head. "No thanks, I have some files to look over," she said, grabbing her tea and leaving.

There was a twitch in Beast Boy's smile as he watched her go. "Suit yourself."

"Dude, I don't know why you ask." Cyborg patted Beast Boy shoulder, causing him to hunch over the counter. "You know that girl rarely says _yes_."

Beast Boy laughed. "I know, but I thought—" he stopped before shaking his head. "Whatever, _Miss No Fun_ can go back to her dark and mysterious room." The changeling got up, putting his bowl in the sink. " Let's go play."

"Better be ready to get your ass beat," Cyborg chuckled as Beast Boy made a disgruntled moan."Come on grass stain," he hollered as they both exit the dining room.

Robin got up, placing his cup on the kitchen counter. He didn't know why, but something about the whole conversation didn't seem right. Yes, the conversation between Raven and Beast Boy seemed natural and familiar, but where was the tension that plagued them the last few weeks? Where was the green jokester that hated him, the Beast Boy who had ran after Raven to comfort her after Robin had said way too much. Running to her when he couldn't because he'd silently promised not to act in a manner that could be perceived as romantic.

Robin tapped his fingers against the kitchen counter, but it doesn't make a satisfying enough pater on the hardwood. He stared at the long corridor that led to their rooms and he considered walking after Raven. He wanted to confront her. Ask her if she had civilly solved the issues between them. Maybe Beast Boy and Raven had decided to give their relationship another try. An idea that seemed agreeable after Robin's awful words.

 _Yeah that had to be it,_ Robin concluded.

But why was he stomping over to Raven's room without a plan or reason?

Robin rapped on her bedroom sound echoed against the empty hallways and he knew everyone on the floor had to have hear him. Somehow he couldn't find it in his heart to care. Even if the thought of, _what Starfire would think,_ had crossed his mind.

He rapped harder, knowing that Raven was avoiding having to open the door. He yelled her name at the top of his lungs, the sound raspy and piercing, making Raven finally open the door. Her face is scrunched up in anger, a pale fist with white knuckles at her side and her hair a wild purple wisp. Before she was even able to open her mouth, a witty and sarcastic remark ready on her tongue, Robin spoke first:

"What did you do?"

Raven's head lifted slightly, carefully watching the heavy scorn on Robin's face. Her scowl deepened, her eyes flashing him a warning. "I don't know what you—"

He pushed her personal space, leaning over the threshold of Raven's room and the corridor. Their faces were too close and effectively moved her back just enough to allow Robin to step into the room. He quickly closed the door, slamming his hand against the button. Taking a deep breath, his body shaking at the attempt to calm down. He asked again, "Raven, what did you do to Beast Boy?"

Raven clicked her tongue. "I don't know what makes you think you have the right to barge into my room?"

Raven turned to her bed, lifting her hand forward, ignoring the Boy Wonder's question. Robin's eyes wandered to her bed as the books lay on top in a circle. He caught a glimpse of foreign handwriting before a black aura encloses them and snaps them shut. She shot him a small glare in warning; she wasn't fond of being snooped on.

"You aren't answering my questions." He folded his arms over his chest, standing, eyes firmly on her. "Beast Boy shouldn't be chummy with me or you for that matter." Raven lifted the books up with a twitch of her finger. "He should have bit off my head first thing this morning."

"Sorry that everything doesn't go like your fantasies," Raven shrugged, not turning to look at him. "Maybe Beast Boy isn't as barbaric as you—"

"He called you _Miss No Fun_. I haven't heard him call you that in years." Robin scowled. "Funny thing is that I almost thought you just patched everything up."

And there it was, the insinuation of her powers.

There was a spark in the air, the room slightly colder than it was moments ago, and the hairs on his arms stood on end. He watched Raven scowl before she flicks her wrist the books flew towards him. Robin back handspringed out of the way, a book barely missing his face. The bookshelf behind him shifted suddenly as books settled into their slots.

Raven's body tensed, rolling her shoulders back and a huff escaping her lips. She shook her head and ran her hand through her hair in frustration. "I did patch things up," Raven whispered, her eyes averting his.

Robin's back straightened and he took a second to look at the bookshelf behind him. It was layered with books, each crevice used, leaving some books placed between the small space at top of each tomb. Some of them seemed mundane, simple spells or common reading. Others felt a lot more dangerous, despite their harmless looking covers. If he listened closely, ignoring the background noise and the settling of the tower, he swore he could have heard them hiss and sing.

"Not by means of talking?" Robin looked back at her with a fresh frown on his face. Raven lips twitched in response, raising her shoulders and hugged herself.

"No," she whispered, the words monotonous and dry.

Robin couldn't bite back the snarl that escaped his lips before he turned over to the bookshelf, his hands running across the bindings. He had no idea what he was looking for, but he intended to find it. "Which book?"

Raven's voice raised an octave or two, her voice almost singing a plea, "Robin it's for—"

"Which book, Raven?!" he yelled, pulling out the nearest book and opening it.

In a second she was at his side, her hand gripping tightly onto his wrist. She stared at him with all her fury, but only spoke in whispers, "Robin this is better for Beast Boy, he—"

"You don't get to choose that for him, Raven. You don't get to choose what is better for him!" Robin yelled, trying to pull his wrist out of Raven's grasp. She was stronger. A small remainder of his humanity.

"I don't want him to suffer like I suffered!" Raven screamed, a burst of wind enveloping the room. "I care about Garfield enough to do this for him. You may have forgotten about me, but I haven't forgotten about you! You think it's fun watching someone pine over another?!"

She squeezed his wrist and suddenly it felt scalding hot and burning. Robin's grip loosened, dropping the book in his hand to the floor. Raven clicked her tongue before kneeling down to pick it up. She quickly closed it, walking past him to place it back into its space.

He watched Raven's back as she clutched to the bookshelf slouching over. There was a small shake of her shoulders, her body arching further as she took a breath, but said nothing. Robin rubbed his wrist. There weren't any marks, but he could still feel the heat on his skin. It wasn't her intention to hurt him, he was awfully aware of that fact. This whole situation that had escalated within the last months was spiral down on her control.

"You don't erase someone's memory—their love for you, just because it's convenient," Robin whispered, rubbing his face in frustration. She gripped the book shelf a little tighter. "You have to let him get over it"

"What happens if he never gets over it?" she said, her voice small, but with more emotion than he ever heard her speak. "He just stuffs it down, hiding the feeling in a cold, dank place. Hell, the feeling was so well hidden that he had forgotten where he hid it. "

Her shoulders continued to shake, and Robin could've sworn she was crying. The thought seems impossible, Raven never cried in front of him. He'd always seen the aftermath—cold face and words so slow and monotonous to hide the hoarseness of her voice that was inevitable from long hours of crying. The shock subsided when he noticed that they're weren't any tears. Her body shook due to silent chuckles. He found that even worse.

"Then the feelings just pops right back up like a kick right in the teeth. Worse, I just feel sorry for him and feed into it."

Robin pursed his lips, watching Raven in cold calculation. She slumped, turning around to lean against the bookshelf. She gave Robin a side glance before looking away because the hurt was so awfully etched in her face. She hugged herself as a form a protection, a way to hide her vulnerability as she tried to reel back the emotion.

Silence befell them and Robin did something that shocked them both. He picked at the edges of his mask, peeling it off before connecting his stare with hers. Vulnerability meeting vulnerability with a silent mutual agreement forming between them. They were both a god awful mess. Robin crumbled his mask in his hand before breaking the silence.

"Is that what you think I did?" Robin hummed as Raven shifted uncomfortably under his blue gaze. "Kissed you out of pity?"

Raven bit her lip, shaking her head. "Yes and no. I once thought it was out of pity, but yesterday..."

She stopped, eyes downcast to the space between them, then shifting her eyes to the mask within his hand. She counted it as the third time that she'd seen him unguarded. It was three times more than anyone else, making it three times too many. Raven held herself a little tighter.

"Who knew my powers would be such a big obstacle even for us?" She shrugged. "You know my powers better than anyone and you still—maybe that's why I didn't pursue you because you know exactly what I can do."

Raven gave him a bitter laugh and a flicker of black electricity flashed at her fingertips. "Maybe you are the smart one to stay away, to keep me at arm's length. Beast Boy must be insane to try to pull me closer."

She waited for him to say something, anything at all. A rebuttal, a retort, any string of words that would disprove her interpretation of his words yesterday. Robin made no motion to speak, instead, opting to use his hands to twist his mask in guilt.

"You kissed me because you were jealous," Raven finally said, her eyes again watching him as he winced at the word ' _jealous'._ A cruel and ugly emotion, stirred by the threat of losing someone. He still wasn't sure if it was the threat of losing that special spot in Raven's life or—he couldn't find the _or_. Robin could throw in another sin—gluttony, because he was afraid of losing her, when he already had someone else.

"I waited for you," Robin said quickly, throwing a new curveball of words in there slowly diminishing relationship.

Raven let her lips part, but said nothing. Confusion, astoundment and disbelief were a few emotions he noticed. He expected some type of damage to occur, some pop of power, since she showed emotions so vividly, but nothing occurred.

"I did." Robin affirmed, "I waited for you to show me some sign that you felt the same. But then, while I waited, I started thinking that maybe you couldn't see me in that light. That you didn't allow yourself to see me in that light That you would never see me that way.."

He watched for some type of reaction, but there wasn't one. He found that far worse than any anger or disgust.

"You wanted control, Raven," he said, shaking his head at the thought. Control seemed like a recurring theme in the matter. "I couldn't burden you with all the emotions of a hormonal teenager. That feeling quickly turned into guilt, guilt that I might bring down all your progress. I thought my feelings could hurt you, and I never wanted to hurt you, Raven, especially after _Malchior._ "

Robin bit the ball of his thumb as he saw Raven's eyes narrow at the name. Even after so many years, Malchior was still a sore subject. "I do know how it feels to see someone pine over another. Imagine my surprise knowing you had a boyfriend. Someone who understood the different world you lived in." Robin rubbed his knuckles against his lips. "You were so engrossed with him, drunk on your own feelings, you lost control of yourself for a split second, and..."

Raven lifted her head, a silly attempt to hide her embarrassment.

"That moment I knew I had to protect you from me," Robin finished, looking away while pulling off his green gloves.

"When..."

Robin raised his head. Raven glared at him, her eyes a murky violet.

"When did your focus switch to Starfire?"

Robin bits his lip, peeling off the dead skin. That was a complicated questions.

"That's not how it works," Robin hummed, eyes darting away from her intense stare, "that's not how these things work. It was a crush on both of you then somehow, Starfire caught my attention more. It just happened."

He watched her purse her lips as she held back words.

After too long a moment of silence, Robin added, "I still love her."

There was a sharp lump that caught in Raven's throat.

"I wasn't able to tell her that," he mumbled, rubbing his face in frustration, thinking of himself as a jerk, but he had to be honest. Raven deserved that and so much more. "I won't be able to. She hates my guts and with good reason. I cheated on her, there is nothing else to call it but cheating." He watched Raven wince at the ugliness of the word, "All because of my pride, old feelings, jealousy and new feelings, which I have no idea where they're leading. I shouldn't be saying this."

Robin bit his lip again. It was a nervous tendency, but it provided him comfort as he tried to muster the strength. "It will only complicate things further. But there is something about your presence that my love for Starfire just can't snuff out."

"It's the bond," Raven answered with certainty. "I don't choose who I bond with." She stayed quiet for a while, until their eyes locked. "I can break it, I can try to break it."

There were palpitations within his chest as she mentioned breaking the bond. For a moment he wondered if was the bond's self preservation or his own selfish desires that made him think it was a very _very_ bad idea. However, he finally concluded that even if she took the bond away, he still wouldn't be able to think straight. Raven would always be there.

"That won't fix our problem." He shook his head. " I wish things were back to normal too, Rae." Robin grunted at the idea of normal. "Before this whole mess between you and I. But we have to live with the consequences. We can't force things to be normal."

Raven tilted her head away from him and he saw the guilt loud and clear. Her nails dug deep into her skin. Biting the skin on her lip, she turned to him once again, a proposition falling from her lips. "I can make her forget too."

Robin watched Raven turn her back to him and pick a book from the shelf.

"No, forget is a strong word..." she said flipping through the pages. "Rewriting—writing your own truth of events. She won't forget, but remember a new scene of even—"

The book was snatched from her grip and Robin threw it on top of her bed.

"Raven, I know this is all stemming from your guilt" Robin reasoned. "This isn't like you."

There was a dangerous spark of energy again, and a silent rumble followed. He watched Raven grind her teeth before she looked at him through narrowed eyes.

"I thought it was made very clear that you don't know _anything_ about me." She pulled away from his grasp, and there a silent voice in his head that told him he dare not touch her again.

Robin pursed his lips and looked away. "I know enough."

Raven shook her head, but said nothing; her silence was rebuttal enough.

"I'm not going to make you give back Beast Boy's memories, his _original_ memories." Robin walked toward her, resting one hand on her shoulder. Raven shrugged it away before staring up at him through lidded eyes. "I want you to make the right decision on your own."

Raven shuddered a breath, deep and raspy, as she grabbed Robin's hand, hers warm on top of his rough skin. For a brief moment of time, he was stuck in that moment again. The moment where he wondered how her lips and tongue would feel. He watched her part her lips and the tip of her tongue pressed against her teeth. He noticed himself watching and he hated himself for it. But his moment of lust was shattered by the complete and utter sense of guilt.

Raven stared at him, a small twitch of her lips as she clicked her tongue, squeezing his hand tighter before it was ripped away from her person.

"Roger that, leader," she said, taking a step back away from him.

The word _leader_ had the same malice that Beast Boy uttered just yesterday. Yet there was an entirely new element to it, a weird hitch in her breath that wasn't quite sadness. It was unlike her, she was giving him way too much information on her feelings by her demeanor. Again, he accounted her lack of control as his fault. The weird stroke of desire and the feeling of being the scum of the earth etched deeper. Robin took a step back, furthering the distance between them.

"Right" Robin sighed. "This whole mess needs to be cleared before it ruins—"

"—Team dynamic," Raven added, shrugging to try to console the words that were snaking up her tongue.

She didn't tell him how team dynamic had been shot since she kissed him. How Starfire's powers were so heavily connected to joy and there hadn't been much joy in the alien's life lately. Nor did she mention that she couldn't be more than five minutes near Starfire without blowing something up in the Tower's basement. Surely it wouldn't be a shock to find half of their stored equipment growing mold due to a flooded basement.

Raven walked past Robin to pick up the book that laid on her bed. Robin watched her hold the book tightly in her arms before turning slightly to him, her eyes blank.

He couldn't watch her shut herself in again so he opted to look at the small trinkets on her vanity mirror. He heard her settle on the edge of the bed and noted it as an invitation for him to leave. However, he didn't, because he was an awfully stubborn person.

"We are infiltrating the Casino tomorrow," Robin mentioned.

Raven quickly realized the ' _we'_ did not mean the _team_. Raven bit her lip again, eyes focused on Robin to see if this was a badly timed joke. Finding no humor, Raven folded her arms with a scowl. "Why can't you—"

"I have three reasons why Starfire can't come," he said raising three fingers. "One, Starfire hates me."

Raven hummed and he swore he heard her sarcastic voice in his head saying: " _Why would she hate you, I wonder?_ "

"Two. "Robin dropped one finger. "She sticks out like a sore thumb."

Raven nodded in agreement. Starfire was beautiful, too beautiful at times. Even if she placed a glamour spell to tone down Starfire's orange skin and normalize her green eyes, Raven could not remove Starfire's beauty and charming personality. Half the casino's patrons would be at Starfire's side in seconds, that wouldn't be very covert.

"Lastly," Robin dropped another finger, pointing his index finger towards Raven. "You've seen my face, you know my name. You know who I really am."

Raven took a moment, staring Robin down to figure out his meaning. "I'm not going—"

"No, you misinterpret what I'm saying," Robin said. "This casino has high class rollers. No average joe can just waltz in. I don't need _Robin_ , I need _Richard._ "

"Richard Grayson," Raven's said, eyes cascading to the space between them, "Dashing socialite of the Wayne family. The first heir to the Wayne fortune. Ward of Bruce Wayne up until his seventeenth birthday. Adopted after the untimely demise of Bruce Wayne's second ward, Jason Todd."

Her words sounded as if they were ripped straight from his Wikipedia page; he couldn't have found it any more impersonal. Maybe that was her intention, to distance herself from the man she knew, by reading about the man she never had. He didn't give her the satisfaction of a response, not even a reaction.

After a moment of silence, Raven purses her lips, placing the book on her lap. "And if I refuse?"

"It's not something you can refuse, Raven." He stepped toward her. "You are the best—"

"Because you think I know you?"

The word ' _think'_ hit him hard, because Robin thought she was the one who knew him best. It was another low blow. "Because you are discreet, you can blend to any shadow—come and go without anyone knowing you ever existed."

It went unnoticed, but Raven clutched the book a little harder. Something about his words don't resonate with her. "Tomorrow?"

Robin nodded. "I'll have a dress—"

"Dress?" Raven quirked a curious eyebrow.

"Like I said, this is a fancy place, Rae. Hundred dollar dresses won't cut it. "

"You sound like Starfire when she goes out shopping," Raven quipped thinking about the Tamarian's choices of attire. She was a princess after all , luxurious clothes fit her. Raven, however, came from a humble background. She couldn't see herself in garments worth a townhouse in New York.

"This is an order?" Raven looked at him, and he noticed the challenge peering back at him.

Robin looked at her, shocked at the comment, but conceded with a, "It's an order."

Raven lifted her head and looked at his hand at the door. Their eyes locked and a silent conversation formed between them. An apology was said, but not spoken, yet, somehow, in that instant, they forgave each other, that was their new cycle now. They fought, tensions built between them and they forgave. Because after all settled, after each harsh word, and the even harsher reality, they understood each other best. It didn't mean they understood each other completely, or even a fraction of each other's being. However, they understood each other better than any other person that had come into their lives.

Raven sighed, placing her book beside her. She walked to him, her eyes shying away from him as she stood arms lengths away. Raven took his hand, lingering a little longer than intended before unfolding his hand that held his mask. She retrieved the mask, smoothing out the sticky cloth with care, softening the wrinkles to the best of her ability before looking back up at him. Robin stands and waits.

Raven leaned forward, standing on the balls of her feet to reach his face. She carefully placed the mask on his over his eyes, smoothing the edges with careful grace. He watched the wrinkles between her eyebrows as she concentrated, making the mask look just right. He wondered if it was all in his head, when something told him to look away or he'd be pulled in again. He ignored the voice and marveled at the slender tongue that presses against her bottom lip as she smoothes her fingers against the edges of his face before standing on her own two feet.

She looked at the mask, her face stoic, but he knew her better than that. There was a small hint of satisfaction fixed on her face by the very subtle smirk of her lips. She may have been stuffing emotions into her little _Pandora's box_ for years, but physical queues were still there. He couldn't help but find it beautiful. Then he caught himself staring at her, their eyes locking in some magnetic pull.

Then the guilt hit him like a freight train. The words, _I don't want to hurt her anymore_ , echoed in his head.

And Raven must have heard it, because her eyes went wide and the moment was lost. She took two steps back, saying nothing. Robin looked away as she folded her hands behind her back and her body turned away from him in reservation.

"Cyborg will drop off the dress," he said, placing his hand on the door, opened it, and left.

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Author Note: I hope you liked this chapter! Please review with your thoughts and comments. =3 See ya next time!


	14. Chapter 14: Cornered Mouse

**Author Note:** Did you think this was dead? Thank you Ophelias'Song for being vigilant with me. The amount of patience you have for my shenanigans is astonishing. This was a mess before she beta read this.

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Starfire eyes were transfixed on the dress.

She watched Cyborg's hands delicately place the gown into its garment bag. It was dark blue with purple undertones. A long, almost bodycon dress, with a small slit on the right side of the skirt. The most intricate of hand sewn flowers and swirls, danced around the neckline and trailed down in the most beautiful hues of black, purple and silver.

It looked expensive, high fashion, and way too petite for her.

A feeling that stirred in the pit of her stomach, one that was uncommon to her. It was rotten and cruel, and she quickly tried to pull herself from its clutches. It pushed back and before she knew it, she had flown near Cyborg, as he descended down the Tower's living quarters corridor.

"Is that for _Friend Raven_?" she inquired, already knowing the answer.

"Yup, this is for the undercover mission. I hope this thing comes with insurance." Cyborg shook his head.

"Oh," she whispered, her own voice pathetic to her own ears. "Has Friend Robin devised a plan for the place of gambling?"

"Uh, yeah," he winced, taking note of her tone. "He and Raven are going undercover. We are both on standby. We have voice com, but Robin strictly forbid visuals."

"Oh," she whispered again, "I assume Robin will not be going as... _.Robin_?"

"You know that boy loves his secrets," Cyborg frowned and shook his head as they walked up to Raven's door. "After all this time, you think Batman's orders would be null and void by—"

"Oh friend Victor, mind if I deliver Raven her dress?" the princess interrupted, her voice an octave higher than usual. "It's gorgeous and I would love to experience her wear it at least once."

Cyborg looked at the dress, and then stared into her emerald green eyes. Starfire tried to give him her usual charming smile, but the tin man wasn't buying it. She was never good at hiding her emotions, and she never would be. Masking emotion was something she was never taught. Her culture was expressive and there were certain things she wasn't willing to give up in order to conform to the ways of this strange planet she now called home. He looked back at her with one part pity and another part concern. The alien's smile faltered slightly, knowing he'd figured out too much. Yet he remained silent, draping the dress over her arm. Her heart sank to the bottom of her stomach; Cyborg was a good friend to too many people and valued trust above all. Starfire looked down at the dress and hoped she could meet his expectations.

"Be careful with that, it's a loaner" the tin man warned.

Starfire watched him leave, letting out a drawn out sigh. The tension in her chest quickly built up again. The Tamaranean's hands trembled as she held the dress hanger. Looking at Raven's door, she wondered why she was even there, why was she doing this—what was she even supposed to say?

The coil in her chest became tighter as she choked back heavy tears. Suddenly, the door slide open and Raven stood at the entrance of her pitch black bedroom. Starfire felt her own face stretch into a smile as Raven stared back with the strongest expression of surprise that had ever graced the empath's face. The creases around her lips hurt, no emotion to support the muscles to smile. Of course Raven was surprised, she wasn't Cyborg, or Robin for that matter, but the person that had been avoiding her for months: She was Starfire, the one who projected her feelings too strongly, allowing them to scream from the top of her lungs. Which meant the empath knew, all too well, what truth boiled within her.

"I brought you your dress," Starfire said, draping the dress over her arm. "Cyborg said to be careful with it."

Raven stepped back from her stupor and reeled back all emotion. "Oh, I will."

"Friend Raven—" Starfire started and Raven's shoulders rose to the word ' _friend'_. "Mind if I come in?"

"I don't think—"

"Please," Starfire begged in the most desperate tone Raven had ever heard the alien speak.

The empath stayed silent for a moment, her eyes wandering from the dress draped over her arm, finding the floor. Raven's violet eyes could not meet the vibrant green of the princess's —not now—the empath was unsure if she'd ever be able to again. But, within the second her eyes caught a glimpse of the floor, she noticed Starfire descend a couple inches to the ground. The feeling of stress, shame, and the smallest burst of happiness, filled the empath's senses before Starfire levitated herself back up.

"Yes, please come in." Raven stepped aside, allowing Starfire to float past her.

As the door slid closed, Raven watched Starfire's every move. The rise and fall of the alien's chest, the hint of tension in her shoulders—her way too rigid posture. She wondered what was on the tip of the alien's tongue; if she knew, maybe she could defend herself. More silence ensued and the empath found herself lost. There were no more excuses she could hide behind.

Starfire finally turned to her, her feet gracing the ground before she stared directly at Raven. They were always a bold shade of green, unlike Blackfires which always seemed dull and muggy. The shade only added to the intensity of the princess's stare, and from it, Raven didn't feel anger or ill intent, but somehow, she felt like a defenseless mouse under the hungry stare of a feral cat.

"Raven, I—" Starfire started, taking a step forward, her arms lifted in a pleading stance. She swallowed and dropped her arms, making herself look small and shrill. "I wanted to say, I am not angry at you."

Raven's face twisted to an expression the alien has never witnessed. Remorse, disbelief and shock etched onto the empath's face while the sound of shifting bookcases echoed behind.

"Honestly I am not," Starfire sighed, "I am angry at Robin."

Raven felt there was more furry in Robin's name than the Tamaranean's tone conveyed. Her grip tightened around the hanger. "Why? I was the one—"

"I understand, Raven," The alien interrupted, and her expression softened, "but I was foolish to think you mistook the _love of friendship_ for _romantic love_."

Raven winced, and there was a small spark of electricity in the air. The empath's books rattled in place and there was a distinct cracking sound. Starfire balled her hand into a fist and tried to hide her vague sense of fear. The empath looked at her, and released a small breath. Wind enveloped the room and the rattling ceased. Raven moved away from Starfire and into her closet to hang up the dress.

Inside, Raven shouted, "Maybe I did mistake it...maybe I'm still mistaking those feelings."

She waited for Starfire to digest the information.

"Maybe you aren't mistaking it at all," Starfire said in rebuttal. "You and Robin have always been... _close_. I was jealous of that. You got to know him more completely than I did. There were things that he hid—its part of his nature. I don't even know his name, or how he looks under that mask. But I know people need an outlet, and sometimes their significant other can't always provide that. So I let him have his space, let him go to you—even knowing all that—"

The alien's weight shifted and her footsteps echoed to the mouth of the closet.

"I knew that he had feelings for you, Raven," Starfire continued with a guilty expression. "But I gambled on his pride, his utter respect for you, and your—"Starfire looked away "— _condition_ in hopes that he would not take pursuit. I never doubted his feelings for me, romantic feelings can exist for multiple people at once. Just one feeling can completely envelope the other. I hoped his loyalty to you would completely consume that _love_."

The empath didn't look at Starfire. She couldn't. Her eyes wandered to the duffel bag, stuffed in the corner of her closet. She didn't know how to take it all in, Beast Boy's love and Robin's confession.

"I was foolish to not account for your feelings. I am an awful friend," Starfire finished.

The empath grunted and unhooked her cloak, placing it on a hanger. "I'm good at pretending, Star. I've shoved my feelings down and pretended my whole life. You couldn't have known—"

"But I—"

"No—no one knew, Kori: Not Robin or Cyborg. Beast Boy only knew because he understood. He understood how it felt to look at someone when no one was watching. We're foolish to want the people we want."

Starfire rubbed her copper forearm. "I should have guessed, used my intuition?"

Raven shook her head, but said nothing.

The alien sighed, dropping her shoulders. "That's why I am here, Raven—that's why I wanted to talk to you. I wish to use my intuition now." Starfire breathed in, finding resolve. "I am mad at Robin because he is stubborn and prideful. He came to me because he knew how I felt. I realize that now. I was an easy choice. But once he saw an opportunity, his heart acted quicker than his mind and—"

There was a sudden rush of anger and Raven felt the room get hotter.

"—He could have told me! Relationships are about building trust. He should have been honest with you, and me, and _himself_. If he was honest about his feelings for you. He could have let me down gently! Instead, he denied it, strung you along with beautiful words while his heart said what his mind could not. All while gripping tightly to a relationship that was bound to fail."

Somehow, between her monologue, the Tamaranean started crying, her green eyes illuminating her tear drops. She wiped damp cheeks with her forearm as she sniffed.

"Starfire, I'm sorry." Raven reached for the alien, her hands tense and her body stiff, unused to physical contact. However, she made a valiant effort as she wrapped her arms around the beautiful alien. Starfire rested her head on Raven's shoulder, her cries an ear shattering howl from her broken heart.

"I messed everything up. Robin loves you. You guys were—are the _power couple,_ " Raven silently chuckled to herself. "I thought I could contain it all; I don't know what changed?"

Starfire sniffed. "It wasn't working. We tried so hard to be happy, but everything felt so close to the surface. It pains me to watch him hurt you, hurt you without realizing it. I see the way he looks at you, a sickly sense of longing."

Raven shook her head, burying her face into Starfire's red mane. "There is nothing between us."

Starfire took a large breath and pulled away from Raven. She stared at the empath, her eyebrows forming in the most beautiful look of pity. "Robin doesn't love me. He wants to hold on to something, anything stable. He believes that what's between you will be fleeting."

The empath opened her mouth, but said nothing. Her quick wit could not form a rebuttal. Robin mentioned that he was afraid. Afraid of taking the chance on her because of her own instability. He'd waited for her—waited for her to show him she felt the same. Only to be reminded by Malchior, who brought that feeling of jealousy, and the seed of doubt, telling him he'd never be part of _her_ world.

Everything Robin said, she couldn't rebut Starfire's words. The empath was starting to see a little too clearly what Beast Boy and Starfire were trying to say.

"I'm sorry I put you through this, Starfire. I never meant to hurt you," Raven frowned, "but I did. I have handled this whole thing terribly"

Starfire wiped her tears and gave a somber laugh. "I don't think I would have done better in your situation. On my planet, love is precious and people are known to take many lovers. But we hold honesty to the highest importance. Robin wasn't honest, not with you, not with me, not even himself."

"We all weren't honest," Raven interjected.

Starfire sniffled. "I suppose so. Beast Boy is the only one who stayed honest and true to his feelings." Starfire gave another somber laugh. "How our green friend surpasses us in wisdom sometimes."

"Yeah." Raven placed her hand against the wall, her eyes tearing away from Starfire. Beast Boy's' name brought too many emotions and her knees suddenly felt weak.

"Raven, are you okay?" The Tamaranean grabbed hold of the empaths shoulders.

"Yes—I... it's just a lot of emotions I'm not use to taking in all at once." The empath pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling cold sweat form.

"Do you need to rest?" The princess took hold of her once more and the empath staggered before regaining her footing.

"I need to meditate," Raven replied as Starfire led her to her bed, "I'll be fine."

"I understand the importance of _Raven alone time_ ," The Tamaranean smiled, her eyes glowing a fluorescent green as she walked to the door.

"Star," The empath called, "I'm truly sorry for this mess."

Starfire gave her a long hard stare. "I'm sorry for being in the way." Starfire's face softened. "Just get Robin's head pulled out of his butt. Settle what has already begun and find happiness, even if it isn't with each other. Feelings aren't everything. Don't try to fit two puzzles because they look good together. Don't do as we did."

The light in Starfire's eyes dimmed as it became evident just how tired the alien was. Raven bit her tongue as Starfire looked away and walked out, leaving the empath alone with her thoughts.

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 **Author's Note** : So I'm already writing the next chapter but it going to take some time. I apologize with the wait you know how real life is.


	15. Chapter 15: Move On

**Author Note:** Always thanks to the lovely and ever patient Ophelia'song to proof reading this mess. It was a fun chapter to write.

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Beast Boy carefully adjusted his collar in the mirror. He puffed out his cheeks in the mirror, only to slap them to push the air out. Cyborg and Starfire had the easiest part of the missions. All they had to do was stay on communications; they didn't have to dress like the staff and run the roulette stall. At least he looked good in a suit.

He adjusted his hair, slicking the dark green strands back. He wasn't one to dwell too much on his appearance. The shapeshifter always thought of himself as handsome. However, times like these made him feel his hair looked like grass. He groaned in frustration as a strand of hair fell out of place.

There was a loud knock on his door, that phased him out of his thoughts.

"Come in!" Beast Boy yelled, struggling with the uncooperative strand.

His hands stilled when he watched the door open and Raven walked in. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she looked absolutely stunning. Her hair now black and done in a half updo, while her dress fit her every curve. Her alabaster skin was dusted in rose around her cheeks, while her eyes shined a deep dark blue. His breath hitched and suddenly he felt nervous.

When did he ever feel nervous around Raven?

Beast Boy turned around, to have a good look at her. She was even more beautiful than her reflection. In that moment, his brain screeched to a halt. When had he ever found Raven beautiful? She was always pretty, but sort of creepy and cold to him. Beauty was something much much deeper than _pretty._

Raven stared at him expressionless, her eyes watching over him.

"Hey Rae-what's—" His voice cracked, "What are you doing here?"

Raven raised an eyebrow. "I have to place a glamour spell on you."

Beast Boy's ears flushed, and he let out a large breathe. "Oh, right! We can't go green and purple, huh? They'd recognize us from a mile away."

She gave a heavy nod. He watched as she came closer, her hands tucking back the strand of hair he was fidgeting with before. Almost like magic, it stayed in place; he felt air entirely leave him.

"The glamour spell will last for about four hours." Raven said, taking a step back, encasing her hand in a black aura.

"Uh, do I like get to pick how I look?" Beast Boy asked, picking at his face.

Technically he could look like anyone if he wanted to. Wouldn't it be interesting to storm into the casino looking like Vin Diesel? Or maybe look like Bruce Wayne? He scratched that thought, both of those would be high profile. He was supposed to be under the radar.

Then a thought entered his mind. When was the last time he hadn't woken up to green? He remembered being a blonde haired and green eyed boy, running through the fields of South Africa. He wondered if he could look normal, for at least a couple of hours.

He took a quick look at Raven who tilted her head at him thoughtfully, as she waited for his request. If he wanted to do this, he have to share something intimate with her. However, it was an opportunity he didn't want to pass up. The shapeshifter quickly hustled to his bed, and pulled out a box from under it; it was a wooden, slightly dented, with large trees rings. His hands slightly shook, and he let out a nervous chuckle. It had been a little too long since he opened the it.

He brought the box in front of her and Raven quickly brought down her hand. He gave her a sheepish look before opening it.

"This is some of the few things I had back when I lived in South Africa. Before I was in Doom Patrol," Beast Boy started, shifting through his memories.

He set aside his mom's necklace and his dad's watch, to reach the photos that lay beneath. Most of the photos were animals he had grown around. Some photos were of him bright eyed and too young to have any memory of. Then he found it, a photo worn, and heavily creased. It was a photo of himself with his parents, maybe a couple of months before he had become ill.

"Umm.." he hesitated, gripling the picture tightly in his hand. "This was me, before I was the loveable green fella I am today."

Beast Boy handed Raven the photo, and something about this whole exchange seemed familiar. After Raven looked over the photo, there was a look of recognition in her eyes. It was subtle— gone in a flash, but it was there. She handed him back the photo and raised her hand again.

The shapeshifter puts the photo back at the bottom of the pile. Closing the box carefully he asked, "Have I— I know this sounds crazy, but, have I shown you that photo before?"

"No," Raven said quickly, "Do you want to look like your old self?"

He placed the wooden box behind him on the dresser. He looked at Raven, and somehow, something in him screamed that she was lying— lying through her damn teeth. He dismissed the feeling; Raven wasn't the one to sneak through people's stuff. There was no way he would have shared this with her before— at least that he knew of.

He laughed, "Yeah, you're right, I'd never shown you this. I don't think even Cyborg has seen that picture." He shook his head. " But yeah, like my old self, but more, ofcourse, in my twenties, and maybe the blonde slightly darker? No one stays with the same blonde as a kid."

Raven nodded. "Close your eyes."

Beats Boy closed his eyes, and there was a brisk wind that enveloped him. Raven's magic always felt slightly unpleasant, but somehow, this was felt oddly refreshing, like a splash of cold water in a warm day. When she called for him to open his eyes, he quickly turned around to looked at his reflection.

Staring back at him was a man with features not unlike his own. His hair a sandy blonde, and eyes green with flecks of gold. Beast Boy smiled, the man smiling back.

"Damn I look good," He chuckled, turning his head to the side, while running his hand across his cheek. "I don't remember being this pale, but I was in South Africa in my youth."

The empath crossed her arms across her chest. "Looks good, Garfield"

Garfield froze. He quickly spun around, and walked towards Raven. "Did you just call me handsome?"

Raven sneered. "I did not—"

He smiled down at her. Puffing his chest, he took one step towards Raven. "You said I looked good." He leaned in, inches away from her face. "Maybe _Miss Darkness_ is warming up the green guy?"

"Beast Boy," Raven warned, "don't."

His green eyes sparkled with mischief. He stood straight and grabbed her hand, pulling her closer. "Come on, it's not like it's common for me to get a compliment from _you._ "

Raven pursed her lips and said nothing.

Garfield wiggled his eyebrows. "Why don't we have some fun while we there?"

"Beast Boy, we are on a mission." Raven reminded.

"I know," He groaned, "but Robin didn't say we can't have fun. Why don't you come to my roulette table?"

Raven stepped away, but Beast Boy continued to grab onto her hands. "I don't gamble."

"Don't have to, just keep me company. Pass the time while we look." Beast Boy looked her over appreciatively, before smiling. "Maybe _talk_?"

She shook her head. "As fun as that—"

He interrupted, grabbing her hand and spinning her around once. He watched as the dressed flared as she turned. "Don't shoot it down so quickly _Ms. Sarcasm_. Maybe even a dance on my break?"

Raven stopped, placing a hand on his chest to catch her bearings. She stared up at Beast Boy who beamed a smile back at her. He rubbed small circles on her hand with his thumb as he tilted his head in thought. She watched as his smile slowly disappeared and something else other than mirth occupied his face. Raven was well aware of what that face meant. It was when one's mind is occupied by maybes and first spark of interest.

Raven shook her head. "Beast Boy, whatever you are think—"

"Uhh, are you guys ready?" A voice cut in.

The empath quickly pulled away. She turned around to watch Robin, still in his superhero garb, leaning against the door frame. She glanced at Beast Boy as he rubbed his neck in embarrassment.

"Just doing the final touches on my disguise." Beast Boy ran a hand through his sandy blonde hair. "Looks good, right?" he smiled. "Raven thought so."

Raven glared at him arms crossed against her chest.

Robin cleared his throat. "Raven did a good job. However, your shift starts in about an hour. Cyborg is downstairs waiting for you"

Garfield looked at his watch. "Oh shoot, right. You guys head out soon too, okay?"

Garfield adjusted his coat and looked at Raven. He quickly placed a hand on her shoulder and leaned down, whispering something in her ear. Raven turned to him with a glare only to be graced with a smile back. He quickly left his room after that, leaving Robin and Raven alone.

"Cozy?" Robin asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Why aren't you dressed?" she retorted.

"I have to wait for the rest of the Titans to leave," Robin replied, pointing to his mask. "I'm guessing you haven't restored Beast Boy's memories?"

Raven became rigid and uncrossed her arms. "That is none of your business."

"As team leader, I think it is my business when one of my team members places another one under a spell," Robin argued his voice low, but accusatory.

Raven clicked her tongue. "I do not have time for this."

As she walked past him she felt his hand carefully grab her arm. She could have easily moved away, easily break free, yet, she turned around to look at him. The Boy Wonder shook his head, disappointment heavy in his face.

"Raven, has anything really changed?" Robin asked.

She looked away clenching her fist. She couldn't erase the way Beast Boy looked at her while he held her hands. The way he shined down at her bright eyed and goofy faced. The way his face turned to one of longing. For him, that feeling was new. For her, it was something she wished to never see again.

The empath turned to Robin, taking hold of the elbow that held her bicep. She looked at him with a somber expression.

"No, it hasn't." Raven lowered her head. "I think he is developing feelings for me again."

Robin squeezed her arm gently, and Raven looked up at him. "Of course, because whatever attracted him to you in the first place is still there." Robin reached over tucking stray hairs behind her ear. He clenched and unclenched his hand, before placing his hand on her cheek.

"You are still you, Raven," he said, and her hand rested on the hand holding her cheek. "No matter how often you do this, his attraction to you will reappear again and again—"

"Until someone else catches his attention more?" Raven whispered awaiting Robin's reaction.

"Yes," Robin said through clenched teeth. "Raven, don't make this about us."

"I know." The empath stroked his hand before removing it from her cheek. "It never was about _us_. I will reverse the spell after tonight." Raven gave a small chuckle. "Maybe he will hate me afterwards, that will fix some of my problems."

"You want him to hate you?" he asked.

"No, not really." Raven sighed, pulling away from him. "I don't want him to hurt anymore. The way I hurted. The way I'm hurting." Raven glanced at Robin before looking away.

"I am hurting you." Robin admitted, clenching his hands into a fist. "You said it, Beast Boy's will only solve part of your problems? The other?"

"I think we both know the answer to that." Raven said her voice small.

"Raven I—"

"I know you are hurting too," Raven cut him off, unwilling to let him finish his sentence. "This whole thing messed up your relationship. You still love Starfire, and she wouldn't believe you if you screamed it to the hills."

Boy Wonder pursed his lips and looked between his feet. She was right. Starfire had refused to talk to him ever since their conversation in the conference room. He thought that maybe with time, she would open up to the idea of salvaging their relationship. However, the nagging voice in his head told him it was too late. There was no recovering from this, no matter how much he loved Starfire. The princess had made up her mind about him. Robin groaned, rubbing his face in frustration. He really felt like scum.

The empath watched a plethora of emotions play on Robin's face. "Maybe she is protecting her own heart by denying that love. Maybe you are protecting yourself by wrapping yourself in an emotional blanket. It's warm, comforting and familiar."

"So I'm just using Starfire, is that it?" Robin whispered, running his hand through his perfectly coiffed hair. "Why does everyone just seem to disregard my feelings?"

"I'm not denying you love her." Raven hugged herself, but her voice was strong. "I just think that you're trying to hold on, while Starfire is trying to let go."

"So you're saying I should just let her go and not fight for her?" Robin frowned and shook his head. "But I—"

"You don't get it, do you?" Raven frowned and her expression turned cold. "You cheated on her, with one of her closest friends. It's a disgusting and dirty word, but that is exactly what happened." Raven breathed in, taking a shot in the dark. "You also have no idea how you feel about that person you cheated on her with."

He looked away finding the way she was looking at him too expressionless. "You're right."

The empath pushed down the feeling of surprise before it bubbled to the surface. She couldn't let him see her off guard again.

The Boy Wonder looked back to her, and his shoulders dropped. The sluggish posture made him look defeated. "I can't deny it any longer huh?" He bit his lip out of frustration. "There is something between us. It's like I can't control _it_ any longer."

" _It_?" Raven asked.

"My feelings. That's what got me in trouble in the first place, huh?" He gave a dark laugh. "Didn't I rush into a relationship before figuring out my true feelings?"

"I can't answer that," The empath said, her voice thick and monotonous.

He looked her over, how closed off her posture was off. The rigid posture and arms tightly crossed against her chest. She was protecting herself, and she wasn't giving anything away. It was fair. He asked her to give in too many times the last couple of months. She always was the one saying a little too much on how she felt. While he stayed tight lipped, swimming deep in the rivers of denial. It was time to be as honest as he could. He had to lay it all on the table.

"When you kissed me, I couldn't stop thinking of what could have been," Robin sighed, he almost felt sick to his stomach at the thought of what he was about to say. "I always had to consciousnessly hold myself back from holding you longer and deeper. To not let my hands linger a little longer. Once I saw you were interested in me, something, I didn't think—"

"Your heart acted faster than your brain," Raven whispered.

"Yes...I—" Robin stuttered.

"That's what Starfire said. What she thought happened," Raven answered his unspoken questions as she held herself tighter. "She knew how you felt. She just hoped your feelings for her were stronger than your feelings for me."

"I don't know how deep this feeling is?" He rubbed his neck and rolled his shoulder. It was almost like a weight was lifted off.

"Don't speak about it like you owe me anything." Raven shook her head, and dropped her arms. "You owe it to Starfire. She just wants everything to be clear and in the open. Everyone to be honest with each other. So we may find happiness even if it isn't with each other."

"That's Starfire alright." Robin said.

"She also said get your head out of butt."

"You sure that wasn't you?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Nope, all Starfire." She shrugged. "I would have said something less PG.I'm not pushing for an answer." Raven sighed. "I want to move on. Starfire is slowly moving on from this and I want to too."

He ran his hand down his face in one long stroke. Now there was no going back. He had to find out how deep his feelings ran for Raven. He didn't know how long it would take, by then, Starfire may have moved on. Raven could move on too, that selfish hope that people would find her unattainable was no longer viable. How could he had been so disgusting prideful?

 _It would only serve me right, if they both moved on,_ Robin thought. _I should have sorted everything out years ago._

Boy Wonder looked back at the empath who was looking at her watch. Their eyes locked, a silent agreement occured between them. They would both move forward from this mess. They couldn't keep running in circles. Find happiness even if it wasn't with each other.

"The others should have headed out already. You should get ready."

Robin ran his hand through his hair. "Right. I should be ready in about twenty minutes. I'll drive us there."

The demoness crossed her arms, and gave a curt nod.

He walked past Raven, but then stopped at the front of Beast Boy's door. She looked at him thoughtfully, her dark blue eyes watching his every move. His shoulders raised and lowered as he exhaled a large breathe. He didn't turn to look at her and said with the smallest voice: "You...you look nice."

The Boy Blunder quickly headed out the door.

* * *

Beast Boy sat in the front passenger seat of the van. He buckled up, and turned to smile at Starfire, who gave a lackluster smile in return. The last couple of days she'd been a little off and as much as she tried to hide it, she wasn't fooling anyone. However, everyday she seemed to be getting a little better. Whatever it was, it must have been slowly resolving itself.

"Come on Tin man, let's go," Beast Boy said, patting his friend on the shoulder.

Cyborg started the car, giving Beast Boy a quick glance. "Nice blonde, you look like you should be in a boy band." Cyborg reached over to his hair.

"Hey!" Garfield shrinked away from his hand. "It took me forever to make it look this way."

"You look positively splendid friend, Garfield," Starfire voiced, clapping her hands together.

He smiled at her from the rear view mirror. "Thanks Star." He turned to Cyborg and whispered. "Raven thought so too," he winked at his best friend.

The Tin man seem to become rigid, but Gar ignored it. Cyborg looked at the rearview mirror to watch Starfire plug earphones into her ears. Garfield gave a far off smile before leaning against the car door. It was raining, already October, the mist singing soft pitter patters against the windows.

"I'm happy to see you and Raven are getting along," Cyborg finally replied, his voice at a whisper as to not to disturb Starfire.

"Yeah, I mean. I wouldn't go that far as say getting _along_ ," Garfield smirked, giving his friend a quick glance. "It was a compliment, I'm pretty sure she still hates me."

"Come on, Raven doesn't hate you," the Tin man rebutted, giving his friend's shoulder a squeeze.

Garfield frowned and gave a somber laugh. "Funny, I'm pretty sure she does."

"What makes you think that?"

Garfield raised his hand and started counting. "She never laughs at my jokes."

"No one does."

"She avoids any communication with me."

"Sometimes your… _personality_ can be a little much," Cyborg reassured. "Plus, your kind of a beacon of emotion for her. She doesn't avoid all communication with you."

"Fine, okay well..." Beast Boy thought, already putting down two fingers. "She never smiles in front of me, aha! You can't rebuttal that."

"Raven is a complicated girl," Cyborg mentioned with a sigh. He couldn't help but to think that this whole scenario was complicated.

"Yeah she is, Victor. That she is," Gar added, his voice melancholy. The green man leaned against the door again, his fist under his chin.

Victor tried his best to stay impartial. He had to be a complete idiot not to know what was going on. Things were falling apart and at the center was the two resident birds. He didn't know all the details, but he guessed that Starfire and Robin weren't an item anymore. Raven had pretty much stopped dating Garfield, while Raven and Robin started skidding around each other. The whole team was filled with awkward glances and enough thick tension you could cut it with a knife.

His green best friend seemed to be taking it better than he thought though. Starfire had fallen apart and started slowly putting the pieces back together, but Garfield just seemed to dust the dirt off his pants and keep going. So yes, maybe Raven and Garfield were nowhere near the same stages as Robin and Starfire in their relationship. However, his best friend was positively haunted by the thought of asking Raven out for two years, before finally cracking.

"Hey can I ask you for advice?" Garfield asked, eyes focused to the scenery that zoomed by.

Cyborg gave him a quick glance. "Sure"

Garfield took a quick glance to the rear view mirror to see if Starfire was watching before whispering. "You think I have a chance with Raven?"

 _Again?_ Cyborg thought. He wasn't sure if this was a good time to start that fiasco again. "I don't know—"

"Okay, I know her and I seem far-fetched." Garfield cut in.

"Well..." Cyborg shrugged.

"I mean, sure we don't see eye to eye, but have you _seen_ her?" Garfield sighed. "She is gorgeous, yes, but all of a sudden so approachable?"

Cyborg raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't say all of a sudden."

"Maybe I didn't see it before, but she seems _nicer_ to me." Garfield ran his hand through his hair out of nerves. "She is always watching, doesn't participate much, but she's always there for us, right? Always there to clean up our messes."

"You are right about that," Cyborg nodded.

"But you know—" Garfield gave a quick glance to Starfire to make sure she wasn't listening. "Vic, I think she had a thing with Robin."

"You mean ha-"

"You know the whole apocalypse thing, where he went to hell and back for her. I think Raven really took that to heart."

"Yeah," Victor agreed.

"But Tokyo was forever ago." The blonde rolled his eyes. "She has to be over it by now."

"Wait—"

"So I mean, maybe if she doesn't think it's a date right off the bat." Garfield rubbed his neck as he shook his head. "Maybe, just maybe she'd be willing to at least go on one date with me? Just to know if we are compatible?"

"Wait." Cyborg shook his head, trying to keep his eyes on the road. "You want to go through that rollercoaster again? Can't you wait until this blows over? I'm not saying to not try again, just right now isn't the best time."

"Woah, again?" Garfield look at Cyborg confused. "Okay I'm a little lost here, buddy."

"You're asking me if you should ask Raven on a date again, right?" Cyborg asked.

"I never asked her on a date." The shapeshifter frowned.

"Okay the first was a not-not-not-not date, but the amusement park was definitely a date."

"When have I ever gone to an amusement park with Raven?" Garfield's frown deepened. "I—we went together as a group."

"We've never gone to an amusement park as a group. You took her yourself."

Beast Boy grabbed his head and there was a small aching sensation. He shook his leg to try to calm down. Cyborg frowned, something was wrong, terribly wrong. The memory was not quite right.

"The double date to How to Train Your Dragon?" Victor asked, trying to figure out how much he remembered.

"That was me and you," the shapeshifter corrected, shaking his head as the pain grew stronger.

"Buddy, Raven didn't _have_ a thing for Robin. She still does." Cyborg looked in the rearview mirror quickly to watch Starfire before looking back on the road. "I think Robin might too..."

"I—" Garfield's breath hitched, and his leg stopped shaking. Something in him seem to click before he shook his head, and leaned towards the car door again. His green eyes watching the raindrops drip down the car window.

"Are we almost there?" Garfield asked.

"I—" Cyborg bit his tongue. There was something seriously fishy. His green friend didn't necessarily forget what happened, but apparently seemed to remember the events all wrong. Talking about it seemed to cause physical pain. He didn't want to push it further, afraid of what it might do.

He needed to talk to Raven.

"We will be there in twenty minutes" Cyborg responded, turning his attention back to the road.

* * *

 **Author Note:** Sorry for the wait. I just went through...or still going through a very rough part of my life. It has sucked my motivation to write or do much of anything. I'm trying to persevere.

Please R&R. I would really like to hear your thoughts! I even send back pm's. Thanks everyone for reading so far!


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